March, however, continues to scowl. “If it wasn’t this, it would be something else. Like it or not, we’re famous. Someone is always going to dig up some shit to drag out and flap in the wind. IknowPenny understands this.”
I thought so too. But does it even matter? She’s been repeatedly hurt. Because ofme.
I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know what she’s thinking about now. And it’s quietly killing me. Worse? She doesn’t have all the facts. I’ve been keeping something from her and it’s a big thing. I don’t want to lie to her anymore.
I could lose her. Even now.
The hollow in my chest gets deeper, colder. Clearing my throat doesn’t help.
“There’s something I have to tell Pen, and I don’t know how.”
March pinches the bridge of his nose. “Please, please,please,don’t tell me you’re dumping her for the game because I will fucking kill you where you sit.”
“What? No. Dump her? As if I could.”But maybe you should...No!No. “Why would you even—”
“Sorry. What with Jan and all the utter shit piled on him that we’re just hearing about...” He shakes himself like a dog. “Fuck. It’s got me twisted.”
“Okay, I have shit timing.”
“Well, I wasn’t going to say it.”
“You basically did.”
“Fine. Lay it on me, brother, because my balls are freezing off and I want to go inside.”
I want that too. Not just for my balls, although Iamworried they’ll soon be frozen to the boat seat. Mainly, I just want to be back with Pen.
But I can’t until I have a game plan. So I tell March the awkward truth. When I finish, I don’t feel lighter. If anything, the hollowness has spread to my guts. Silence rings out, broken only by the occasional cry of a red-tailed hawk migrating south and the slight lap of lake water against the side of the boat.
Forearms resting on his knees, March stares at me a long moment, then rubs a hand over his mouth before speaking. “Look, I’m not gonna say it, but we both know I’m thinking it.”
I nod. March’s disappointment in me couldn’t be any clearer.
“Right,” March says briskly. “I mean, I guess your boneheaded thought process can be excused given that you lose you damn mind when it comes to Penelope Morrow.”
“I though you weren’t going to say it.”
“I lied,” he drawls, then looks out over the lake in contemplation. We’re both quiet for a minute. Both of us thinking things through. And even though there’s pictures to prove we were born over a year apart, at times like this, I swear we shared the womb.
March clasps his hands and addresses the problem. “Maybe there’s another way. Maybe you could—”
“That wouldn’t work.”
“Okay, but have you considered—”
“You think I’d ask for help if I hadn’t?”
“No, no. Of course you had. I’m all out of ideas, then.”
“Terrific.”
“Oh! Remember that time? With the nuts?”
“Could work.”
“Agree on three?”
“You know I hate ‘on three’ it’s so—”
