“Lips, tongue, as long as your partner gives consent,” Lucas adds.
“This part of the game might lead you and your partner to another, quieter area for a little alone time. Please do enjoy.”
“Or you can take your candy prize and work your way to the pool area where in fifteen minutes there will be a bathing suit-free water aerobics class.”
I peek out from under my blindfold and half the couple are pawing each other and the other half are leaving. I turn my attention back to Dex and his blindfold is up over his head, and he’s glaring down at me. “That was the hardest thing I ever had to watch,” he growls.
Then I’m airborne. He bends down and pulls me up by my thighs and tosses me over his shoulder, forcing all the air from my lungs. A loud grunt escapes from my lips as storms out of the dining area, carrying me like I weigh nothing. Pamela and Lucas giggle as we pass them. I pound my fists against his back.
All I see is the floor and the back of his feet as we bounce down the hallway. “What are you doing? Put me down.”
“Fuck no. No fucking way,” he growls.
I struggle to climb down his back, but his arms flex and tighten, then he slaps my ass with the palm of his hand and says, “Behave.”
I fall silent because I liked it.Shit.
He brings me into his room and eases me off his shoulder, sliding me slowly down the front of his body. I feel every inch of him, the tight muscles of his chest and stomach, and the length of his rock-solid erection.
I try to wrench free, but he holds me tight against him with one hand on the small of my back and the other grasping my head through a fistful of hair.
“Jane, stop,” he says, gently tugging my hair back and resting his forehead down on mine. His fingers splay and press into my back, they burn through my shirt and seep into my skin. His cologne fills my head, and my fingers grasp on his shirt.
He pulls his head from mine and lowers his face, brushing his lips along my cheek to my ear and whispers with the heat of his breath, “I never want to see another man touch you like that again.” He pulls his head back and his eyes look fierce and intense. “I don’t want to be away from you anymore.”
His hand lets go of my hair and presses under my chin, lifting my face up to his. I don’t speak a word—I can hardly breathe as he lowers his mouth to mine. My lips part under the pressure of his, and his silky tongue strokes and licks against mine. My body shudders, and heat floods through me all the way down to my toes.
His lips hypnotize me, the world around me, us, melts away. It’s powerful, his kiss, intense and raw and full of emotion. I want to cry from it. His lips are firm and certain, and I feel his entire body shiver against mine. His fingers are back in my hair gripping me tight. He takes up all of my senses and devours me. We stumble backward, until I’m against the wall. His body presses so completely against mine that I can feel his hard cock against my stomach and his chest heaving against my own. I can smell past his cologne to his soap and hear the beat of his heart drumming wildly in his chest. He groans out a torn noise that begs and pleads with want and urgency.
Then I see it. The one thing I can’t get away from when my eyes are closed.
An image of a small baby.
The one I lost.
I one I’ll never have.
A shattering explosion crashes through me and I shove him away and fall to my knees. I can’t breathe. My tears are choking me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I just…
“Jane,” he whispers. “Give me another chance.”
I look up at him and all I feel is anguish. “I’m…” I need to say something to end this. I need to get away from him and the ghosts that he brings to haunt me. “I’m…I’m with someone else. I…I can’t do this with you,” I stutter.
“You’re lying.” His lips are tight and angry.
“No. I’m not. It’s someone I met on one of the stupid apps Gail put us on. That hating app. I…I really like him.”
Dex stares down at me and finally nods. He steps back and everything in my body screams for him. “No wait, I…um…” I have to let him go. Being with him is going to kill me. He’s the reason I’m broken. He’s the reason everything went so wrong.
“You’re hurting. It’s okay. Jane. It’s okay. Let me just drive you back home.”
And he does.
A silent three-hour ride where I write an email to Gail resigning fromUPCLOSE.
Chapter 17
Leaving the retreat early was the best thing for me to do.
