“Now, instead of a busy, crowded restaurant, we’re alone,” he whispers.
I whip my eyes up to his and swallow hard. “You followed me in here.”
“I fucking miss you,” his words are cracked and brittle, his nose flares out and I can’t take watching him break in front of me.
“Why did you follow me in here?” I blurt.
His eyes darken and he’s suddenly breathing too hard. He takes another step closer to me and my back presses into the wall of shelves. His hands lift up to my face, but his fingers hesitate to touch me.
“Sometimes I think one more time and that will be enough.” His hand finds my skin. His thick fingers stretch across my cheeks and travel lightly down my throat. His topaz eyes lift to meet mine and I can’t take in enough air to breathe. Color blooms on his cheeks and his jaw clenches. His breathing matches mine, coming out in pants, both of us suffocating, drowning in need.
No one has ever looked at me this way before, like there’s a fire deep inside him, ready to engulf me in flames. Emotions slam into me. Fear, love, terror, desire. None of them lesson the way his lips brush over mine. I close my eyes and let him kiss me.
Dex’s thumb presses into the base of my throat, his tongue dipping into my mouth. His other hand fists the hem of my shirt, dragging the material up over my breasts. I mirror his moves and press my body closer to his.
I want to live in this moment, skin against skin, his mouth on mine. My pulse skips and throbs. His fingers trail over my neck and collarbone, down over the swell of my breasts, and his mouth follows after, tasting and teasing.
“Oh God, Dex…” My voice sounds strange, heavy with desire and need. His hands pull down the cups of my bra, his tongue circling a nipple, then gently raking his teeth over it with the perfect amount of pressure.
His mouth moves to the next breast, repeating the beautiful torture.
I want to reach for the buckle on his pants. I want to hold him in my hand and feel how hard and thick he is—like he said, maybe one more time will be enough. But the thought brings tears to my eyes, because one more time would never be enough—not for me.
I press my hands against his chest and shift my body away.
“You don’t want to be with me?” he whispers.
“Oh, God. I do,” I sigh.
“Then why are you pushing me away?”
“I just don’t want to be with you and then lose you when the test results come in. I’m not a yo-yo, Dex. You can’t push me away and pull me back whenever you want to play with me.”
“That’s not—”
“I just can’t, Dex.” I pull down my shirt and wipe at my tears. “One more time isn’t going to be enough for me. I think it’s healthier for me to not do this.” I don’t have the energy to stop the stream of tears that trail down my face.
“Don’t cry,” he says, wiping his thumbs over my cheeks.
“This is hard for me,” I choke out a gasp.
“This is hard for me! Family is very important to me. I don’t want Olivia to not be my daughter but—”
The words are like sharp slaps, waking me from a dream. I turn away, putting as much space as I can between us.
“Fuck, Jane. Listen to me.”
“No,” I say, straightening my clothes. “I’m not doing this. What world do you live in? This is the 21stcentury. You can be her father and live somewhere else, or you could fight for custody. You don’t have to be in a relationship with Stephanie. We could stay together and that thought never ever occurred to you.”
“I didn’t think you would ever—"
“What? That I didn’t love you enough to love a child you created? Are you serious?”
“She would never let me see Olivia again.”
“Yeah, Dex and if you let me, I’d be right by your side to help you fight for whatever relationship you wanted with her. But right now, I’m still wondering if you still have feelings for her. You must still have feelings for her, to be putting yourself through this.”
He doesn’t correct me.
