His head pulled away slowly, his eyes sad and lost. “You know that will never be able to happen, right?”
“I know, Mathias, I know. But still wouldn’t it be…”
“Perfect.”
“Would you want it, to be alive again?”
“As long as it was to be with you.” They were the last words he said as the bells tinkled and Ravenswood pulled its dead back into the shadows.
The room aged and wilted, paint crumpled down in long curling strips from the walls, and cracks crept across the ceiling like a spider’s web. Dust and ash settled on every surface and my breath was a mist of white when I whispered into the shadows. “Then I hope you’ll someday forgive me, Mathias.”
An raw wind fluttered against my neck then, settling over me likedéjà vu. A stir of leaves, and the cold shiver against my throat felt more like a tingling soft cold kiss. I shook away the sensation and stepped forward toward the window, fighting the maddening urge to look over my shoulder and rub at the tingling that was spreading all over my skin.
Forgive you for what?His words carried on the breeze, echoing softly around me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “You were made from things I had trouble believing in, and I hope one day we’ll find each other again and laugh over everything we’ve been through as if we had just finished reading the same book.”
Raine. His voice was weaker now, farther away.
I lifted my hands and carefully opened my clenched fists. Crescent-moon shapes lined my palms, but above them lay the small item my mother had slipped into it when she knew Hemlock was about to kill her. A small crystal in the shape of a bell jar, and the warm glow of a beautiful soul fluttering inside.
When I first felt her place it in my hands I thought she had gotten it off Hemlock’s neck and relief and happiness swept through me like a sudden storm.
But it wasn’t my soul the bell jar held.
It was Mathias’s.
And once I opened that book in front of Hemlock, everything and everyone in Ravenswood would be destroyed. Mathias didn’t deserve that. He deserved to get another chance at a life despite who his father was and what his father did. All the stolen souls here deserved another chance.
The small glowing ember flared brighter in my hand, warming my skin. Its heat sent my heart fluttering wildly against my ribcage. Once again, holding someone’s soul, one that was half of my own, had all my skin and nerves, every one of my cells bursting to life. Beauty and hope and the sweetest sounds of music seemed to hum deep inside me. My eyes welled with tears and my breath was stolen from my lungs. It was an overwhelming feeling that I was home, feeling no longer alone, like I was connected to each small twinkle of fire, bonded to them like they were the air I needed to breathe.
The flame sung out to me, filling me with warmth and love. I felt manic almost —able to accomplish anything—but not able to move my feet. I needed to get closer to the window.
I needed to set him free.
“Mathias,” I whispered, bringing the glowing light up to my face. “Thank you for showing me what love is.” Inside the small crystal the spark bounced around madly, making the charm pulse and vibrate.
NO! Mathias’s voice echoed. Sharp stabs of adrenaline pinched across my chest as his ethereal form took shape in front of me. Fear and rage washed over his translucent features.You need to find your soul. I need to help you. Don’t do this. Let me help you.
“You’ve sacrificed enough for me. Now it’s my turn.” I opened the tiny cork just as his wraith-like form lunged toward me and the tingling sensation of cobwebs and warmth slid over me.
I could feel him through the warmth. On my skin, seeping into my flesh, and the quick hard beats of my heart. We existed wherever the light touched us, made out of cosmic dust. Every atom we were, spread out in front of us. We were love and moments and little specks of thoughts and hopes floating in sunbeams. Part of everything and everyone. I felt him in my bones, deep within the marrow. Silvery rain fell over us, and my chest exploded into feeling and light and pure, unadulterated love.
I will find you again, he promised.
“I know,” I nodded. “Now, go. Live.”
The brightness faded around us, and as the darkness bled back into the room, Mathias’s image faded away until I stood alone and empty.
For a moment I let myself cry, and then I began to run.
Out into the hallway, pounding down the stone stairs, I rushed through the castle with my vision full of tears. Outside each window I passed, there was no longer ash that fell from the foggy skies of Ravenswood, but rain. I only paused once to watch as the cobblestone roads shined silvery smooth; Ravenswood was crying along with me.
My resolve hardened and I pushed forward, descending faster down into the dungeons, through locked doors and secret passages until I stood in the warmest room in all this lost, lonely kingdom.
The room with all the flickering jars. The room of souls.
Floor to vaulted ceiling, hundreds of jars perched atop each other, sparkling with dancing lights like soft yellow flames.
The balls of light inside each jar began to pulsate and beat against the glass, like the pounding of hearts beating to the same rhythm.I never finished what I wanted to in this room.
