“I think if you stay, my father will destroy every part of what you’re made of. And I don’t want to live an eternity, or even for one single day, knowing that you aren’t somewhere out there, shining your light on the world.”
“Mathias—”
“No, I won’t have it,” he growled.
I stayed quiet, watching him. Wanting him to say other words, to have other feelings. Eric always made me feel the same way—all my boyfriends did. What was it about me that, when I started to feel a glimmer of something with a man, I lost all ability to be heard? How come I always became powerless? I was tired of not being heard or seen. I was exhausted from my feelings and my opinions not mattering. “It’s not your choice,” I whispered.
“What?” he asked, as his body stilled.
“It’s not about what you will or won’t have happen, Mathias. It’s what I decide. It’s my soul. My body. My mind. My whole fucking existence.”
“This is not one of your fantasy books. You will not be able to stick a bookmark between pages and set it aside when it gets too rough.”
My teeth grinded from his tone, and I folded my arms over my chest, staring him down.
“Every demon, every ghost, banshee, shadow figure—”
“Jesus, stop naming them all!” I screamed, slapping my palms onto the bed sheets. “Whenever I go, wherever I am, all those things are going to be there, aren’t they? You think I could go back and live some insignificant existence and never feel what I feel when I’m with—” I clamped my mouth shut closed.
“Say it!” he said, pulling himself onto his knees on the bed in the space in front of me. “Say it, Raine. Say my name.”
I stared at him, wide-eyed, flames burning my cheeks.
“Go ahead. I can almost hear it falling from your lips. Not that idiot Eric’s name. Not Liam’s. And not my father’s.” His hands gripped my arms hard, his eyes boring straight into mine. “Feel it,Raine. When you’re with who?”
“It’s not just you, Mathias.” I wouldn’t give him the words, not yet, I wasn’t ready—I wasn’t even sure. “No, it’s not just you, Mathias…It’s Ravenswood.”
He sat back, breathing heavy.
“I’m doing this, Mathias, with or without you. Pick a side.”
He smiled at me and it was like the dark clouds had opened up and the sun shone on my face.
“You, Rainey Halerow. I will always choose you.”
Chapter 12
We sat for a moment in silence, both of us listening to my heartbeat as it pulsed through the stillness.
“The thought of you giving up your life…the beautiful sound of that beating heart…”
“I’m here and my heart hasn’t stopped yet.”
His lips twitched, and his eyes moved slowly down my neck to my chest and the heart we were currently speaking about.
Flames licked across my skin. Heat ached, hot and sharp between my thighs.
I ignored it. I ignored all of the statuesque Adonis sitting cross-legged in front of me. He was too distracting, and I was too wound up, frustrated, and ready for a fight or another one of those soul-wrenching kisses.
Jesus, if his kiss could make me feel like that, imagine what everything else with him would feel like. Then Liam’s voice cut through, “You kissed a corpse,” his laugh echoing through my head. “Want to kiss another one?”
“Okay, enough!” I snapped, stunning myself so that my hand flew up to my mouth in surprise.
He smirked, of course. Mathias had no clue the war that was raging in my head right then. Dead. Dead. They were all dead, and if I didn’t listen to him, I would find myself dead too.
Slowly, he bent his face toward mine, and I felt his cool breath along my skin.
“How did you die?”
