The world fell away, drained of all sound, and the only thing I saw was the innocent blue of Addison’seyes.
“What, Addi?” I swallowed quickly, holding back a gasp. “What? Where’s Ben, Addi? Tell me so I can make sure he'ssafe."
She blinked at me, pursing herlips.
I stumbled back against the side of the van and plopped down before I fell. I needed her to trust me. Didn't she believe in me? Ben could be indanger.
"Addi, I promise you, I won’t let anyone push Ben down. But you need to tell me exactly where he is, right away.” I squeezed her hands softly in mine. “I need to make sure he’s safe, okay? Please tellme?”
Tell me!Ishuddered.
She leaned forward and nodded secretively. "He's in the littlehouse."
The little house? What the fuck is the littlehouse?
I gripped her hands slightly tighter. “Okay, Addi. Where’s the littlehouse?”
“The one in the back yard with the naked lady angel.” She turned away and reached out to point her finger into thestreet.
In the back yard with the naked lady angel? Dylan didn’t have a little house in his yard. He didn't even have a shed or a garage. He certainly didn't have a naked lady angel. Naked ladyangel?
“Is the naked lady angel…is it astatue?”
She nodded her head, and the nape of my neck tingled. I was struggling to breathe. “He’s in the yard down thestreet?”
I scooped her tiny body into my arms and held her tightly. "He's in the back yard with a little house and a statue of an angel!" I yelled as I ran in the direction Addison had pointed. The instant pounding of footsteps behind me told me we weren’t alone, and the smell of Ryan’s cologne let me know he had myback.
“Tell me which house, Addi,” I said as I ran withher.
“The yellow one!” she screamed, reaching her arm out to show me theway.
Two houses down, I skidded to a stop at the gate of a yellow shingled home. There was a dim light on in the front room and a lone swing that swayed in the cold breeze on the front porch. I touched Addison's feet to the ground and jumped thefence.
"Addi, wait for me right here. Don’t youmove!”
Inside the house, a dog barked and another light flickered on. I ran through the side yard and rounded the corner into the back yard, sweat stinging myeyes.
Please don’t let me be too late. Please let him be okay! He's just ababy!
The little house was just a few feet away. An inhuman wail bubbled up from my throat when I saw the top handles of Addison’s tiny doll stroller and the still lump of a child sitting listlessly insideit.
No, no, no. How long has he been outside in the cold?How many times will I have to relive the worst day of my life, the day I witness the lifeless body of a child I love? How many times will I have to live through losing people I care so deeplyfor?
I slammed into the play cabin, heart racing, lifting the entire thing off the ground and shoving it over. It crashed backloudly.
“He’s here! He’s here!” I roared, throat closing, eyes blurring with tears. Ben’s glazed eyes stared up at me, his tiny body shaking violently. “Oh Ben,” I whispered, collapsing in front of him to unbuckle the toy strollerstraps.
His skin was ice. His ears and nose bright red, the rest of his skin a sickening pale blue. I lifted him from the stroller carefully and held him to my chest. For the rest of my life, I will never forget the feeling of his tiny rib cage and shoulders, his chubby little legs and feet, shivering violently in myarms.
