“First floor? There’s another floor?” Istammered.
“A basement,but—”
I didn't stay to hear the rest. I spun around and bolted for the kitchen and the door to the stairwell. I forgot they had a basement with a laundry room. But Ben wasn't there. The machines were empty. He wasn't downstairs or upstairs. My hands went to my mouth to cover my sobs. Behind my eyes, my head throbbed in sharp, hotbursts.
Where was Addison? Addison was here during the whole mess. Would she remember? Would she be able to talk about it? Would she know where Ben was? Was she okay? Someone was probably talking her through things now. They most likely had a calming female officer sitting somewhere with her, going over the events of thenight.
I stomped up the steps and through the bodies of blue until a hand grabbed onto me. “Callie? Callie! I came as soon as I heard—” Ryan pulled me into an embrace and kissed my forehead. “How can Ihelp?”
I stopped and looked around, hoping to see someone carrying a baby. But everyone was talking and searching and trying to figure out what the hell happened. The room was suddenlystifling.
“We can’t…we can’t find Ben!” I grabbed his shirt in my fist and crushed it with my fingers. “He’s only five months old, Ryan. I can’t findhim!”
Ryan pulled me through the house, half dragging me, half holding me upright. We stumbled through the front door and down the porch steps. Outside was freezing, and Ryan tucked me under his arm to stop me fromshivering.
“Talk me through what you know,” he whispered, rubbing warmth into myarms.
I shook my head repeatedly. "I don't even know! I…I was here earlier, and I made myself leave, and then I was in bed, and then I heard screaming and glassbreaking…"
“Okay.” He rubbed my arms faster. “Whatelse?”
“I ran over. Looked in the windows. Called it in. Addison was screaming. They were looking for money…and…and I can’t findBen!”
I cried. What was wrong with everyone? Didn’t they realize? The more time that passed was excruciating for me. With every second that ticked by, I became more and morehysterical.
“Ryan, they can’t findBen!”
He gently grasped my chin in his hand and softly turned my face out toward the street. “Everyone is looking,” hewhispered.
Ryan wasn't lying. I hadn't noticed before, but my street was swarmed with cops armed with flashlights, canvassing the area. Dozens of patrol cars were parked haphazardly across lawns and over curbs. Sheri sat in the back of one, thudding her head against the side window.Had she taken Ben somewhere?He was only five months old. Someone had to know where he was put; he couldn't have gotten anywhere by himself. I needed to findhim.
“Where’s Addison?” I said, struggling to get out of Ryan’sgrasp.
“They’re questioning her rightnow.”
"Dylan? Is Dylan going to be okay?" The world spun too quickly around me. My head was splitting in two; I couldn't figure out how to be the detective or the family of the victim. I didn't…I couldn't figure out how to focus my thoughts on anything other than Ben was lost and Dylan might already be dead – and Addison witnessed itall.
Suddenly, everything that swirled in my stomach surged upward and I dropped to my knees and retched violently into the grass. I knelt there for a while, my legs scraped and cold, gravel and twigs biting into the palms of my hands, all while everything I ever consumed erupted painfully out of my body and splattered over the icyground.
Eventually, Ryan handed me a handful of bunched up tissues, and I was able to clean myself. And as I climbed to my feet, the sight of the K-9 unit pulling up flooded me with warmrelief.
“K-9! Let’s get something that wasBen’s.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t want to rest after that puke fest?” Ryan asked, steadying me. “I took you out here to calm down, get your head straight for a few minutes before you demonstrate you’re not capableof—“
“Don’t say it!” I spit, pushing his hands away from me. “I need to help find Ben,now."
I rushed back inside the house and stood inside Ben's room. I needed something that still had his scent on it. I dug into his baby hamper with blurry eyes and pulled out a cute little pair of overalls; they were what he wore a few hours before. They were so soft and blue, with a small, furry lion on the front pocket and smelled just likehim.
I yelled out orders and overstepped my superiors, but I think that because of my closeness to the family, I was given such allowances; on any other day, I would have probably been reprimanded in front of everyone. I didn’t care. I needed the dogs to search for him. There wasn’t too much time that had passed since I first got here, but any more time would be a death sentence if Ben were outside in the cold for toolong.
The K-9 dogs sniffed around the house, inside the house, but there was no sound of barking. I walked the perimeter of the yard as I waited to hear them until I was called into one of the vans because Addison was distraught and wouldn't talk to anyone until she sawme.
They slid open the van door for me, and she lunged into my arms, trembling and crying. Her tears soaked my shirt instantly. “That bad man, he pushed Daddydown!”
“I know, Addison. I know.” I held on to her tight, weeping into her hair. She snuggled in closer to me, sniffling and hiccupping. “Addi,” I said, sliding down to my knees to look into her eyes. “Addi, where’s Ben? Did you seewhere—”
Her eyes immediately shifted around us, and her head shook violently. "Shhhhh! Ben's hiding, so they don't push him, too!" she whisperedharshly.
