Or our bodies.
Mom shakes her head. “It’s not that. The car was repossessed while you were away. We have no vehicle.”
A cold, wet dread seeps through my lungs as the one and only escape plan I'd come up with - my single, solitary lifeline - vanishes before my eyes.
The air grows dense, pressing down around me like a suffocating blanket, stealing my breath. As if from a great distance, I hear the brittle snap of a dry branch breaking as a squirrel scurries through the tree, and the fragile remnants of my hope shatter with it.
My mind spins. The car was supposed to be our shelter, our refuge. Not just a vehicle to get us from A to B, but somewhere tosleep, to shield from the elements, to store the remaining dregs of our life inside.
I try to think of a new plan, anything at all, but my mind flattens out as blank and dead as the grey sky above at this latest setback.
When the hell will we ever get a break? What the fuck did we do in a past life to deserve all this?
Mom's head droops, her shoulders collapsing inward, like every bitter disappointment of the last decade has chosen this exact moment to press down on her.
For a second, I think I'll collapse right alongside her. Sink into the hard, splintering wood of the park bench, let the world and its problems pile on until I'm compressed to dust. The urge to fold, to lose myself in her despair, beckons. But something else, something ugly and stubborn, rises up in its place.
No. I can't let this be the end. If I do, then Dad really did die for nothing, and all the hurt and humiliation I've suffered so far is wasted. I grit my teeth and force my spine straight, blinking away the tears that want to overwhelm me.
I will not curl into a ball. I will not give up. I will take every punch the universe throws at us, and then I'll claw my way back up through the dross and detritus to find a way to keep us alive and safe.
We can buy bus tickets to get out of here, but there’s no money for motels, and we’d need to leave everything behind, all the mementoes of our lives. Photo albums, trinkets, all the little things that mean so much. But if that’s what it takes, then by god, I’ll do it.
I gather Mom up in my arms, steady her shaking with my own. "We'll find another way. We'll figure something out," I promise, and I mean it.
She nods, lip wobbling, but her eyes flicker with that faint, familiar fire again, and I know she’s on board, so I cling to thatspark, even if it's just an ember. We sit like that for a minute, listening to the wind and the far-off sound of traffic, while I start making a mental list.
I pull back from Mom and squeeze her hand. "Listen, tonight we sneak back to the house, keep to the shadows, and pack only what we can carry. We leave again through the back door and cut through the old golf course—nobody patrols there anymore. We'll get as far as we can on foot, then figure out step two. Okay?"
Mom nods again, her eyes wide and terrified, and I worry this is all too much for her health, but her jaw is set, and it’s better than the alternative. That really would kill her. At least this way there’s a chance.
"Okay, honey. Whatever you say."
I try to smile, but it comes out crooked, more grimace than reassurance. Still, it's enough to keep us moving. I stand and help her up, brushing dirt and dead willow leaves from her sweater, and together we shuffle out of the park, every step heavy with the knowledge that every man we pass could be watching for us.
But I will not break. I will do whatever it takes, and the world will have to go through me to get to her.
A dark, sleety drizzle starts to fall, stinging my cheeks as we make our way to the bus stop. The next phase begins now. Get home, get out, get gone.
Far away from the man I’ve known for such a short amount of time, but who has had such a profound effect on me.
The man I stupidly allowed to shatter my heart. At least with everything else going on, I don’t have time to dwell on that.
Chapter
Thirteen
Thorne
Linnea Reed’s house - or I guess her parents’ house - is a surprise. I don’t know why I was expecting some scuzzy, run-down hovel on the bad side of town, but I regret that’s where my mind wandered.
In fact, what I’m confronted with is a nice home in a decent neighborhood. Sure, it’s a little tired, and the gardens aren’t as pristine as I suspect they once were, but that’s not surprising after the rough time they’ve had.
Yes, I’ve done my homework. As soon as I had a name and address, I used my contacts to discover everything I could about the woman who signed up to be my sexy little maid, and it’s just made me all the more ashamed.
Up until a year ago, she was a bright, pretty girl living a normal life, without a care in the world. Attending college. Going out with her friends. Doing all the things a young woman should in the freedom of her youth.
And then it all went wrong. Her mother, Eve, got sick. Her dad made desperate decisions. And the noose that had alreadybeen tightening around her pretty neck started to strangle her, forcing her to make some difficult decisions of her own.
