They went about their business, packing their things. The vessel was small and they intentionally hadn’t brought very much. By the time Eira had fastened the last strap of her pack, Ducot and Cullen had already tucked themselves into their cots.
She was about to do the same for herself when Olivin caught her eye. He’d been talking with Yonlin, who was in the process of studying the pistol Eira had given to him a week ago on the Isle of Frost. She’d made the decision that, when the time came, he’d be the one to take the shot. If anyone was going to be confident with the weapon, it’d be him. And she needed to preserve her strength in the battle with Ulvarth—she couldn’t allow the weapon to sap her powers.
Olivin held her stare with purpose and Eira gave a slight nod. She ascended back to the main deck and he followed closely behind. Eira drew in a breath as she crossed to the railing.
“I’d been wanting to talk to you.” Eira broke the silence.
“The feeling is mutual.”
She gripped the railing and relaxed. “I didn’t like where we ended things the last time.” She sighed. “I was too harsh with you. I’m sorry.”
Olivin shook his head. “No, you weren’t. I was an ass. Yonlin being as injured as he was had put me on edge.”
“I can understand.” After what had happened to Marcus, then Noelle, she really could.
“I know you can. It’s one of the many things I adore about you. You know what it’s like…” Olivin drew a slow breath, abandoning the initial thought. When he spoke again, it felt as if he was starting from the beginning. “When Wynry betrayed us, we lost everything. Yonlin was all I had, and all the purpose I needed. Every day was survival, navigating as best we could, fighting for what little we had. All I needed was to take care of him.”
“But?” She could sense there was more.
“Eventually, surviving alone isn’t enough, you know? Eventually you begin to want more. To be comfortable. To thrive.” Olivin continued to stare out toward the dark horizon. She shifted to face him, listening intently. “I keep thinking about Lavette and Varren.”
“In what way?” Eira couldn’t see how they were suddenly relevant.
“Everything had crumbled for them. But, even after all had seemed lost, they made it back home. They reclaimed a future that should’ve been lost. They found a way to thrive again.”
Eira hadn’t considered any parallels. But, framed like that, she could see it. At least see how it had struck Olivin as potentially similar to his and Yonlin’s circumstances.
“Thanks to you.” He turned to face her. “You did that for them.”
“I only helped them because it was advantageous to me.” She pointedly looked away.
His hand landed over hers on the railing. “I know you want the world to think you’re this ruthless pirate. But I know you. You love so,sofiercely. You treat others well.”
“I am also ruthless,” she countered.
“Only in service to those you love.”
Eira bit the insides of her cheeks, not wanting to argue. It seemed strange to be trying to tell him she was a worse person than what he wanted to make her out to be. But she wanted to make sure he saw her for who she was. All the good, and the bad. Looking in the mirror and truly seeing herself was something Eira had become comfortable with over the past year.
“I think…I want to stop surviving,” he continued. “When this is all over, and we’ve won, I want to thrive.”
“And what does thriving look like? Do you still have desires to be my fleet master?” Eira worked to keep her questions emotionless. Part of her was afraid of the answer.
He smiled, and nodded. But something about it seemed…less committed than before. The explanation presented itself when he said, “First, though, I’ll need to see Yonlin settled. I don’t think the pirate life is for him.”
“Neither is it for Alyss.”
“And I suspect they’ll not be separating anytime soon.” He had a note of sadness that mirrored her own. A bittersweet taste to the joy that two people they cared for had clearly found each other, even if it meant they were leaving their sides. “I can’t abandon him—either of them—to the rubble of Meru. There will be a great deal to sort through in the aftermath to ensure another Ulvarth doesn’t rise and take advantage of the power vacancy that will exist. I will not see Meru under another tyrant. And, I want to make sure my brother is safe and settled.”
“So you’ll be staying, then?” She didn’t want to assume or mince words.
“Likely, for a time.” He shifted to face her outright. Eira mirrored the motion and his hand lifted to cup her cheek. “Do you hate me for it?”
“Tempting, but no.” As she spoke he leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers, noses almost brushing. “Not so long as you also look after Alyss.”
“Always. Someone who is dear to you, is dear to me.” So much was wrapped up in that declaration. Enough that it filled her with a pleasant pain. She was going to let this man break her, only to put her back together again.
“It’s a deal.”
