“Yes or no.”
Bardulf interjects himself. He’s clearly getting too much glee from my torture to leave it be. “Didn’t you ever wonder why you were so drawn to him? Why you so readily fell into the bed of a man you just met? You probably felt attracted to him from the very first moment you laid eyes on him, didn’t you?”
I’m back in the tent on the beach, on the very first night. Wondering why I wasn’t as disgusted as I should have been when he touched me.
“Most of us knights have the decency to try and suppress the charm. Especially around bitches the king is interested in.”
“I said don’t call her that!” Evander snarls and tries to move toward Bardulf again.
“Answer me!” I stop him with a sharp command. Evander looks back and his expression tells me everything. “It’s true…isn’t it?”
“It’s not what you think,” he tries to say hastily. “Faelyn, I would never?—”
“The first night you took me into your tent…” Goose bumps run up my arms where Evander touched me that very first night. Not from pleasure, now, but horror. I remember how good he felt. How much I wanted him, even then, despite myself. He was so ready to accept me when I propositioned him later. He had no problem taking me to his tent so I could… I thought it was just the pressures of Conri’s charm weighing on us both. That they were actions of necessity. But, no.
I’ve been such a fool.
“I always thought, one day, sooner or later, I’d finally be able to show your true colors to Conri, Evander.” Bardulf stands slowly, using the help of the tree he was just slammed against to get upright. “Show him that you couldn’t be trusted. But I never thought this was how I’d be able to do it.”
“Do you really think I’d do that to you?” Evander whispers, focused only on me.
“What am I supposed to believe?” I ask him. Anger and hurt vie for control of my words. One wants to scream. The other wants to say nothing at all. “You lied to me, Evander.”
“No, no. I…I didn’t tell you about the charm but?—”
“That’s all I need to know, then.”
“I can suppress it!” He takes a step toward me now. Not Bardulf. “Magic is a choice, always. I haven’t been using it on you, I swear.”
“You’ve fallen in love with the king’s queen or tricked your way into her bed; either way, it doesn’t look good for you,” Bardulf says with glee.
I get no enjoyment from this. There’s no satisfaction, twisted or otherwise, to this exposure. And his enthusiasm only makes me loathe Bardulf all the more. He doesn’t care about me, he cares about taking down Evander and bringing me to heel.Evander only cares about… I don’t have a clear answer. My heart and mind are too murky for it. The only thing I can land on is himself—Evander only cares about himself.
“How can I believe you when I already know you lied to me?” I ask Evander.
“I never lied to you.” His tone has become pleading. He’s begging for me to understand.
I don’t. I can’t. “A lie by omission is still a lie. You didn’t tell me the truth and I wouldn’t have known to ask. You had to have known that this was something I would’ve wanted to be made aware of. It’s not fair to me otherwise.”
“Faelyn…”
“If I were you, Evander, I wouldn’t say another word until you stand before Conri. Save your breath to defend yourself. I think you’re going to need it.” Bardulf approaches, focusing on me instead of him. “Faelyn, Conri sent me because he sensed you returning to the plains and asked me to come and ensure you were well and to escort you back. If you would care to leave, we can go without Evander.”
“I would,” I say coldly. The only person I can trust is back with Conri—Aurora. She’s the only one I should have ever listened to in this brutal world.
But, Aurora… She trusted Evander. Spoke well of him. She never mentioned the charm. Does that mean it’s not real? Or that Evander is speaking the truth about suppressing it around me?
The only way to know for sure will be to ask her. Then, whatever Aurora says is what I’ll believe. The sooner I get back, the better.
“Why don’t you go on ahead, Evander?” Bardulf tries to wrap his arm around my shoulders. I step away with a glare, not about to let him think we’re friendly. I might be angry with Evander, but that doesn’t mean I suddenly like Bardulf. He just gives mea thin smile and returns his attention to Evander. “I’ll finish escorting her to Den. I think she’ll be safer with me.”
“Conri told me to protect her, and to stay at her side. To look after her.” Evander barely manages words, his jaw is clenched so tightly.
“What a job of ‘protecting her’ you were doing.” Bardulf takes another step closer to me. I take another step back.
“You’re making her uncomfortable,” Evander says on my behalf. I want to tell him not to, but I am still secretly grateful for him getting Bardulf to step away, even if I’m still disgusted.
“Here you are, trying to lecture me, like you have some moral high ground, when all I’m doing is trying to offer you the opportunity to save yourself. You really want the first word Conri hears of this to be from me?” Bardulf’s threat is clear.
