An insatiable urge to reach over and take his fingers in hers, squeezing them, overtook her. It nearly moved her limbs like a puppet on strings. Eira grabbed her bowl tighter, refusing to give in.
“Really, I suppose I should be thanking you.”
“Thanking me?” she echoed with surprise.
“Ironically, Adela’s ship might be the safest place in all of Meru’s greater seas—so long as she’s not trying to kill us. You might not believe me, but I might feel safer having Yonlin here than anywhere else. I know Wynry can’t get to him.” He glanced askance, leaning back and running a hand through his hair. A knot tightened in her stomach. “So, thank you, I suppose, for being someone I can’t let go of. Even when I know I should.”
A flush rose through her body, crashing down and pooling in her lower stomach. Eira didn’t force a chill underneath her skin. She didn’t fight it. But, rather, savored the sensation as it passed through her.
But, despite enjoying the emotions and feelings he filled her with, Eira didn’t linger on the subject, instead asking, “Is it that bad on Meru?” He and Yonlin had been traveling by land; they might have more information than she did.
His expression hardened, eyes growing vacant. “Their network runs deeper than we ever expected in the Court of Shadows. They’ve made quick work unseating local leaders and constables.”
“I guess I saw as much in Ofok.”
“Every town we passed while tracking your boat—from the smallest to largest—was like that.”
Eira wondered just how much she’d missed of Meru from the relative safety of Adela’s vessels. But her musings were cut short with the arrival of Noelle and Cullen. The former sat at Eira’s left hand, the latter at her right.
They all willfully ignored the slight tension that immediately took up residence in the silence between Cullen and Olivin. It wasn’t anything overt, but visible in the slight glances they gave each other from the corners of their eyes. The way Cullen greeted Eira and gave Olivin little more than a nod. While she appreciated they weren’t acting out like children, she would’ve preferred if this awkwardness wasn’t there at all.
But ending it resided with her. She was keeping them in limbo with her words and actions. If she’d done a better job of making it clear to either one of them—or both—where she stood, it would end. But just thinking about it made her chest ache and throat tighten. They both had brought her safety and joy. Companionship through hard times. Things that made the idea of giving either of them up after she’d lost so much even more unpalatable than their breakfast.
“How did you sleep, Cullen?” Eira asked, trying to ease the discomfort. If she couldn’t—wouldn’t—outright end it at the moment, the least she could do would be making it more bearable for everyone.
“I slept well, thank you. And you?” When he asked, his eyes searched her expression, no doubt thinking back to how he’d left her last night.
“Well, also.” Eira was saved from having to think of any more safe topics when Lavette and Varren arrived and all the morning etiquette repeated itself.
Unsurprisingly, Alyss was the last one to join them. The last person to get out of their hammock for the whole ship. Noelle ended up dragging her over so she didn’t miss breakfast or the conversation that she really needed to be a part of. Alyss’s delay turned out to be oddly well timed, as it gave Yonlin the opportunity to rejoin the group—brought up by Puck—so he didn’t miss breakfast either.
As soon as all eight of them were crammed onto the benches around the small table by one side of the hull, Lavette wasted no time getting right to the point with the air of authority she usually had around her. An air that Eira had noticed was only growing with time.
“What did Adela say?” she pointedly asked to Eira. “Are we prisoners, forced crew, or guests?”
“I don’t think Adela does ‘forced crew.’” Eira had to consciously stop herself from bristling slightly at the implication ofthat. She knew the rumors that surrounded Adela and why Lavette would perhaps think that was a possibility.
“So we’re walking dead or guests. Not liking our odds here.” Varren poked at his porridge. It had begun to get hard as it’d grown cold.
“I wouldn’t despair yet,” Eira cautioned hesitantly. She wasn’t sure how much of her conversation with Adela she wanted to share, especially since it ended with a lot still in the air.
“What did she say?” Lavette pressed.
“I didn’t have much of a chance to speak with her about the details. After the long day, she didn’t want much to do with me. You know how she is.” Eira knew Adela wouldn’t appreciate her hinting in any way at her weakened state.
“I don’t ‘know how she is,’ seeing as you’re the only one among us who she spends time with.” Lavette’s expression was calm and collected, as much as her words, but there was an implied edge to them that had Eira bristling. Lavette didn’t trust the connection. That much was still painfully clear.
“However,” Eira continued, ignoring the remark, “I believe we’re going to speak this morning.”
“Just you, or all of us?” Lavette asked. Eira raised both her hands with a small shrug. Lavette folded her arms and leanedback with a sigh. “I’ll just assume it’s only you, given how things have been thus far.”
“I think that is a fair assumption,” Eira reluctantly agreed. It was clear that Lavette was viewing herself as a sort of stand-in delegate for Qwint and Eira didn’t want to offend her. “And Adela could always surprise us…but, in case my suspicion is right, I wanted to speak with you all first thing.” Eira swept her gaze across the table and returned to Lavette first. Hopefully it would signal respect. “I’m going to assume that you want to go back to Qwint as quickly as you’re able?”
Varren started to speak, but Lavette got in a word faster. “Yes. Absolutely.”
Eira didn’t miss Varren’s moment of tense hesitation. Or the way he looked at Lavette from the corners of his eyes. But he ultimately said nothing and gave a small nod.
“Right, then…” Eira turned to Olivin and Yonlin next. “I assume you both want to return to Meru?”
