“But I won’t press further, here and now.” Ilryth unhooks the bag that’s been attached to his belt. “Get what you need and be quick about it. The sun is setting and we have a narrow window until the wraiths will be more active. I’ll keep a patrol.”
“Thank you.” As I drift away from him, he begins to circle the remnants of the ship. The deep chasm beneath the vessel almost has me frozen in terror, waiting for a tentacle to reach up from the darkness to pull me below.
I make no noise. My face is absent of fear. I shove those emotions deep, deep within me, into the reinforced basement bell room of my soul. To what benefit would howling be? What would tears give me? It will not change my circumstances. It will not bring back my crew.
I must keep going. No matter the pain. No matter what I must endure…I have to keep moving forward.
Keep moving, Victoria,I remind myself.
I swim into the wreckage.
Even though no silver was kept there, the remnants of my cabin distract me. I can’t stop myself from pausing briefly. Running my fingers over the stained glass that’s shattered across the wall that’s become the floor like a constellation that spells doom. All my oil-dipped map canisters are scattered; half are missing. Every precious token I’d collected, reduced to nothing…
I leave it behind. How many times in my life will I just ignore everything that I once had—once was—to become someone new? Is there any part of me that’s actually…me? Or am I nothing more than a shape-shifter, becoming whatever I need to be to survive?
Survival is all that’s important now. But not my own.
Farther down is the hold—where the silver was kept. I work to get there. But something else catches my eye. I drift, staring into the gloom of the half of the ship that’s still mostly together. Barely visible is the torso of a man, crushed under the weight of the wreckage. All manner of monster and fish have fed upon him, but I still recognize a tuft of brown hair, a string out of place on the elbow of a waterlogged coat…
Now, please, sir, get belowdecks.
Those were my final words to Kevhan Applegate. Firm. Businesslike. Casual.
My trembling fingers cover my lips. Even though I can’t scream, I’m trying to hold in the sound. My chest aches. My whole body aches. I’ve eaten nothing and yet I want to upturn my guts.
I never meant for this to happen to him—to any of them.It was all my fault. All my fault for fighting to be free. For not being strong enough to breathe despite feeling Charles’s invisible grip upon me.
I grasp above my collarbone. I run my fingers over the markings that have given me power that would horrify Charles. In the end, I won.
But at what cost?
Would it have been better to have endured for eternity?
“Victoria.”
Victoria, Charles sneers at me from a distant past.
“Victoria.”
You are mine.
“No!” I rear back. Two strong hands are closed around my shoulders. Holding me in place. “Let me go!”
The grip relaxes instantly. It isn’t the sound of his voice but how quickly Ilryth releases me that brings me back to the present. I push the hair from around my face, staring at him in silent shock.
“I—I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have seen that.” I’m not sure if I’m referring to me, or to the corpse.
His expression is nothing but thoughtful concern. “It’s all right.”
“No, it’s not.” I go to swim past him, but Ilryth is much faster and more nimble in the water.
“What do you need from me?” he asks.
“Nothing.”
“Victoria—”
“Now isn’t the time,” I remind him coarsely.
