“Of course you will,” I say softly, knowing that this will require a delicate hand. “But first, let us sit a moment and talk.”
“Talk?You expect me to sit when there is one of our enemies among us?”
“He’s a friend,” I emphasize.
“A…friend?” Kevhan looks between us. He grabs my shoulders. “They have taken you. Stolen your mind with their songs.”
“No. Let me explain—”
His eyes widen, as though he’s seeing the truth for the first time. “Those early rumors…they were right all along. You made a deal with the siren for your skills as a captain.”
“I did.” It’s painful to admit. Not because I’m ashamed, but because I hate the feeling of how long I lied to him. “But it’s not that simple—”
“It seems simple enough to me.” He stands, looming over me, radiating rage. So much for trying to calm him down and bringing peace. “You led us to them,fed us to them.”
I don’t rise to his level, staying seated, my voice an easy tone. “If my goal was to lead people to the siren to meet their demise, why did I go for years without losing a single crew member? Why would I wait and lose only one ship rather than feeding them souls all along, little by little?” I hope he can still be calm enough to see the logic.
“You waited untilIwas on the vessel.”
“Kevhan,” I say flatly, somewhat exasperated. “I know as a lord you think yourself rather important, and I know you are to Tenvrath. But the siren do not care about our nobility.”
“No,” he agrees easily, catching me off guard. “But they do care about their own nobility.” I don’t follow, so I sit in silence and wait for an explanation that he doesn’t waste time delivering. “You made a deal to return me to the fae.” He thrusts a finger in Ilryth’s direction, who remains silent, allowing me to lead this interaction.
I am now certain that these are the ramblings of a dead man slowly losing his mind and better sense to grief. “We are dealing with thesiren,” I remind him gently. “Not the fae.”
Kevhan turns, as if forgetting about me entirely. “I must get back to my daughter. She needs to know the truth of why she can’t go to the forest, or they will hunt her.”
“Wait…” I stand as well. “Are you saying that one of your daughters is involved with the fae?”
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t know.” He glares at both Ilryth and me.
“I didn’t! How could anyone have known that?” I look to Ilryth and he shakes his head as well. “Neither of us have any idea what you’re talking about, Kevhan. I promise, I’ve only ever lied to you about one thing and that was where my abilities came from—which you now know the truth of. There’s nothing more.”
He studies my face, looking for deception, no doubt. I meet his eyes and hold out my hands in a gesture that I have nothing to hide. Kevhan relaxes. “You really didn’t know about it… Then why?”
“Our ship wasn’t supposed to go down.” I allow my pain and guilt to bleed into my voice. “It was my fault, yes. But not because I fed the crew to the siren. You’re right, I made a deal with the siren—this one, in particular, no one else—and that deal gave me my abilities as a captain. But the bargain was only forme, and me alone. No other humans were supposed to be involved. The ship went down because I was there, but I was going to try to sacrifice myself to avoid it. How everything happened was an unfortunate twist of fate.”
Kevhan stops trying to get away. He doesn’t sit again, but he does linger. I take it as a good sign.
“What do you last remember?” I start there.
He shakes his head, bringing the heel of his palm to his temple. “We were in the Gray Passage. The ship was rocking so violently. And then an…explosion? Everything went dark. When I next came to, I was here.
“Some of the crew were here, too…some weren’t. But I’m the only one left now. The rest of them heard the song. They said that it sounded like peace. Though all I have heard is screaming.” He shakes his head. “I warned them not to give in. I told them to be wary. But they said that they would go willingly. That they were ready and I should be too—that there was nothing to fear. The fools.” He scoffs.
An odd bodily pain fills me. It is one of contracting and relaxing at the same time. It hurts, but it is also a weight leaving me. There were those among my crew who accepted their fate. They hadn’t lied when they told me that they knew the risks of the passage and were ready to take them. Whatever matters they still had on land, they could let go of, they could find peace. All of them were far better than I, in life and in death.
I did not deserve my crew, not a single one of them. Each of them was the best version of myself. Because where I struggled and fought against my ultimate demise for so long, they met theirs with grace. If I were not already committed to bringing peace to the world so that their souls could pass effortlessly to the Beyond, I would be now. I owe it to my crew, to every other waiting soul, and to every future crew who deserves peaceful seas to sail through.
“I’m sorry, Victoria. The crew I saw became the siren’s dark shadows and wandered deeper, saying that they had to heed the call. As I tried to chase them to drag them back, they were stopped.”
“Stopped?”
“I couldn’t understand it, but I took it as a blessing. Whatever halted them from getting to where they needed to go also gave me the chance to escape.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I left them. But I had to leave to find my girls.”
I rest my hand on his shoulder once more, grateful he doesn’t pull away. I point up the passage he was trying to scramble up. “If you go up that way, it will lead to the Gray Passage. You will become a wraith—a ghost of nothing but hatred—and lose your mind. You willneversee your daughters again if you pursue this.”
“Then what am I to do?” he asks dejectedly. “I cannot go as the other sailors did. I must see my girls once more…my Katria…”
