A dazzling smile splits his lips. I stare at it, barely resisting the urge to kiss it off. He must see, or sense, my want, because he leans in once more, lips brushing against mine, replacing cool water with the warm taste of him.
“I spent the night awake…” His words reverberate across my mind as he kisses me. I am surprised he’s able to form a coherent sentence. I certainly could not when his lips are on mine. “Thinking of all the reasons I could not go to you—shouldnot…shouldn’t even want you. And yet.” He shifts, deepening the kiss once more. “For every reason I thought of, I wanted you all the more. When it comes to you, every no becomes a yes.”
“As if this is the one thing you know is right in the world.” My words are a whisper as he pulls away with a slight nod, his nose brushing against mine.
“I wish I could redesign the stars to give us more time.”
“Let’s not waste the time we have by focusing only on how quickly it will be over.” I meet his brilliant eyes and bring both my hands to his face, running them along his strong jaw. “Let’s focus on nothing but each other, for the brief moments we can be together.”
“What if there were a way that we could stay together?”
“What?” I blink up at him. The idea seems almost comical. A way to stop the wheel of fate from grinding us into the dirt, after all this? “What are you talking about?”
“I could consult the old scrolls—everything here in the Duchy of Faith. Perhaps there’s something in Duke Renfal’s records. Perhaps—”
“Ilryth.” I stop him firmly but gently by his name alone. “We cannot.”
“But—”
“I gave my word. To you, to Lucia, to all of the Eversea, and to my family,” I remind him. Something creeps up from the recesses of my memories. A vague notion that is formless. A feeling, more than tangible thought. “I can’t go back on this. You told me how much an oath means to the people of the Eversea.”
“More than anything.” He sighs, cupping my hands with his. “And yet you mean—”
“I don’t mean anything to you beyond the offering,” I cut him off. “And maybe an indulgence.” I add the last bit with a coy smile.
He shares the expression, briefly. But it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Lucia’s warnings earlier return in force.
He’s falling in love with me.
I can see it, plain as day. Feel it. If I don’t stop this then he is doomed for a world of heartache.
But…how can I stop something that part of me secretly, desperately wants? I want to be loved. Needed. I want to be touched and known.
“I’m not ready to lose you yet.”
“We have almost two months,” I remind him.
“Less than.”
“When the time comes, you will be sick of me.” I release him despite every fiber of my body yearning for him. Wanting him. The less I hold on to him, the better.
“I doubt that could ever happen.” He regards me warily as I swim out to the balcony.
“Don’t try me. I can be a lot.”
He huffs and comes to sit next to me in what have become our usual spots. “I’m not sure, if it came to a war of wills between us, who would win.”
Me. But I don’t say so. I’ll prove it by staying our course. I’ve charted against the stars, sworn to the crew that is the Eversea. There’s nowhere to go but forward.
“I actually had a question for you.” I shift on the railing of the balcony. Something about this question—despite my needing to ask it—chafes because it’s something I should know. But can’t…for the life of me…recall…
“Yes?”
“How did this arrangement come to pass?” I finally ask.
He shifts to face me. “What do you mean?”
“I know that I was going to be claimed by you. I remember…waiting for you.” I run my fingers over my forearm. “But tell me, how did I know that? How did I come to be chosen as the sacrifice?”
