“Eira—”
“Not now,” she snapped at Cullen, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. They were still in the heart of the tunnel, where voices carried, and Olivin wasn’t that far behind. The fact that Cullen would even try to speak only annoyed her further. She assumed he had better sense than that.
They emerged back to the village and Eira headed right for the Solaris house. Privacy was in short supply in Champion Village. There were other competitors milling about, along with Lumeria’s knights and competition attendants. It seemed like no matter where she looked, there was someone.
Was it an intentional design to have them always watched? And if it was, by who? Lumeria had said that the tournament would encourage them to work together and show the strength of each of the nations’ unique magics. Was that truly the goal? Or was it to ratchet tension, tighter and tighter, to make it a better show in the arena?
Perhaps it was the Pillars behind it all. They would want to keep all the competitors in one location to observe them—control them. She kept scanning the men and women in Lumeria’s tabards. She didn’t recognize any of them, but that meant nothing. She’d hardly seen many Pillars during her time with them. All she could do was continue trying to memorize the faces of the attendants present and keep an eye out for changes in their ranks.
Eira worked to keep her emotions in check, her face passive, until she entered the Solaris quarters. Thankfully, no one else was there. Where the others had gone off to was a mystery to solve once she’d caught her breath.
Cullen’s footfalls were close behind, grating with every step. She didn’t even make it upstairs before all the pent-up thoughts escaped. “What were you thinking?”
“Excuse me?”
“Let me guess, you didn’t think at all.”
“I was going to check on you.” Cullen took a step closer to her, his expression one of bewilderment. Eira didn’t back away. The space between them narrowed.
“I don’t need checking on.”Least of all by you.
“I was just worried.”
“As afriend?” she emphasized, getting to the heart of the matter.
Cullen staggered slightly, eyes widening. “Of course as a friend.”
“Nothing more?”
“Nothing more,” he insisted. His voice hadliewritten all over it.
“Then why did you look so hurt when you saw Olivin and me in the hall?”
He looked away, anger furrowing his brow briefly. The muscles in his cheek bulged slightly as he clenched his jaw. “I was surprised, is all.”
“There was nothing to be surprised about.” Eira sighed, rubbing her chest lightly. The wound ached and served as a physical excuse for the pain that had been growing there since before the game.
“No?” Cullen laughed, a bitter note creeping into his voice. “I knew you always desired an elfin man, but it seems a bit fast. Though perhaps I meant nothing to you—”
“I love you!” She couldn’t even let him finish. It hurt too much. Cullen’s eyes snapped back to her. Eira caught herself a second too late. They were held in the same impossible tension that would overwhelm them just before they kissed. Insatiable. Physically holding back from wrapping arms around each other. She panted softly, trying to gather her thoughts by clearing her throat and swallowing the burning urge to kiss him. “Loved. Ilovedyou,” she said, softer. Her heart was still catching up with how long of a day it had been.
Yet, the words were said. He took a step closer and she didn’t back away. Cullen tilted his face down toward hers. “You’re right, I went to you because I care for you more than a friend, still, and you know it.”
Eira glanced away. “You can’t.”
“Tell my heart that.” He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. “Because it still beats for you.”
“Cullen.” Meeting his eyes was a mistake. She saw all the desire that was still there.
“You would’ve done the same if it was me who had been injured. Tell me you wouldn’t have,” he challenged. She couldn’t. All she could do was swallow thickly. “Eira, we don’t have to do this.” He leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers. It was so easy to dissolve the space between them to nothing. Their noses almost touching, looking through lashes while hearts tried to hammer out of their chests.
“We put this matter to rest, Cullen.” She closed her eyes and pulled her fingers from his. “We can’t be anything more than friends. Neither of us will survive this if we aren’t.”
“I can’t pretend you mean nothing to me.” He shook his head, his nose brushing slightly against hers.How easy it would be to kiss him…little more than a tilt of her head. It was as if the conversation they’d had earlier meant nothing. Everything was still the way it had been, and all it took was one moment with Olivin to bring it all to the surface.
Of course it was the same. Hardly any time had passed and these emotions couldn’t be waved away in a moment. But they didn’t have the luxury of time. They hadn’t had it when falling in love, and they wouldn’t have it for falling out of love, either.
“All I want when I see you is to hold you. All I need is you at my side. I can’t let you go—I can’t letthisgo when it’s only just begun.” Agony weighed down his words.
