“It’s hard to accept the first time.” Vi’s tone softened further. Taavin shifted, lacing his fingers with his betrothed. “Trust me, I know. It’s difficult when you realize those you looked up to are human. When you realize that everything—everyone you love—even yourself—can easily become pawns in someone else’s game. Your anger honestly surprises me. You seemed like the sort who had already learned it.”
“I think I did,” Eira admitted it. Her view of her parents had already been shattered, why not the view of her rulers as well? “Maybe I just hadn’t completely accepted it.” There was still one question burning within her. One thing she needed to know. “Have I been helpful?”
Has my suffering meant something?Was what Eira really wanted to ask. But the words weren’t there.
“Yes. Unequivocally.”
Eira pressed her eyes closed, breathing a sigh of relief. Perhaps Vi was merely being kind. Perhaps the princess knew that Eira couldn’t have handled it if Vi had said no. But even if the remark was nothing more than kindness, Eira would accept it.
“By bringing you in and casting you out, we created distance between us and you. Ulvarth saw you as a rogue agent and didn’t spend as much time trying to thwart or hide from you as he did us. Because of that,youwere the only one who was able to kill Ferro when it came to it. He didn’t have the Pillars that had infiltrated the attendants watching you as closely as he did the shadows in the knights, or even other competitors at that point.”
“Is this also why Ducot and I have been kept more in the dark?” Olivin spoke up. “Because of our proximity to her?”
“Yes,” Vi admitted with ease. “It was a bold choice, I know, given how limited the Court of Shadows is right now. But we wanted you to seem on the outs, too. We didn’t want to seem like we were still close with her.”
Eira glanced between Olivin and Vi. She hadn’t known simply being around him was keeping him on the outs. He knew that, right? He radiated frustration, but Eira didn’t feel it directed at her.
“So what are your next steps?” Eira asked. “Now that I’m in on the game?” This was likely the start of a new plan, a new calculus for the princess. Vi clearly did everything withintention. So what was her goal now? “Why did you really tell me all this now?”
“Because Ulvarth is working to target you.”
“I knew that.”
“We’ve removed three Pillars from the attendants who brought in weapons to kill you in your sleep,” Deneya said grimly.
Eira glanced over her shoulder, then back to the princess. They were as serious as death. She swallowed thickly.
“Why does he want me so badly?”
Vi smiled thinly. “Come now, Eira, you know that answer.”
Because she’d managed to make a fool of him. She’d infiltrated his stronghold, manipulated Ferro to his death, snuffed the fake flame, and called Ulvarth out on his lies. She was still hunting him.
“Even if he kills me, you’ll still fight against him. It won’t be the end of it.” Eira shook her head. “The majority of Meru hates me for snuffing the flame. That rumor has spread like wildfire. Killing me would likely make—” She stopped short. Blinking. How had this happened? Out of all the ways this could’ve unfolded. “Killing me would make him a hero to many…and if he could align it with some other act…like reigniting the flame, or some other grand gesture…”
She thought of the paper Alyss had…of their speculations of Ulvarth killing people that he believed would make him seemmorelike a champion. She was one of those people whose death would help Ulvarth gain esteem from Meru at large.
“Don’t worry, we’ll keep you safe,” Deneya said confidently. “Even if you make it hard on us.”
“But that’s why we could no longer keep you at arm’s length. You’re more useful to us, for many reasons, alive. And the Court needs all the help it can get right now.” Vi paused, tapping the desk. “To answer your earlier question directly…no, I don’t wantto see you or anyone else dead because of me and the choices I’ve had to make. It weighs on me every sleepless night. The faces of those I couldn’t save are forever seared into my memory. Far more people than you could ever imagine.”
“I’m sorry,” Eira said softly. She knew how hard it was to make tough calls when it felt like there was only moments to do it—when so much was at stake. It was impossible to get it right and the fact that the princess did even some of the time was a testament to her iron will and clever mind. “I didn’t trust you as I should’ve.”
“I didn’t give you reason to. I was cold and abrasive toward you.” Vi shook her head. “I am sorry as well. I didn’t enjoy manipulating you. I don’tenjoydoing it to anyone. I’ve had enough of maneuvering people into their positions to play their roles for a lifetime.”
And she was so young, still. Vi had decades ahead of her filled with more and more hard choices. Someday, she would be the Empress Solaris and would be called to do as much or even more. Yet, all this made Eira more confident in their future empress, rather than less.
“It’s all right.” Eira worked to let it all go with a sigh. She had been wrong about Vi. She’d been seeing only part of the truth. What else had she missed by accident or design? “I understand. Even if I don’t like it, I understand.”
“Thank you. I’d hoped you’d come to that conclusion.” Vi smiled slightly. Even though the princess was her distant superior in rank, and her superior in age by about five years, Eira felt like they were peers for the first time. “Oh, one more thing…”
“Yes?”
“You asked me about Adela when we last met.”
Vi now had Eira’s undivided attention.
“I looked into it for you. She’s been sailing to the north and west of late. She hasn’t come to these parts for a long,longtime.I don’t think she will anytime soon.” Vi wore a slight smirk, as if she had something to do with that. Though, that would surely be impossible. “So if you plan on continuing to seek her out, I’d head west, northwest.”
