No wonder the Pillars claimed that Meru’s whole society was rotting from the inside out, a thin veneer of goodness and order overlaid. Deneya had made it sound like the very foundations of their core faith had been a lie for ages. What other lies had been carefully plastered over into half-truths?
“Eira, was it?” a weathered voice said from her left. Her gaze drifted, focus returning to the presence. It was the same old man who had given them the tour of the Archives her first time here.
“Kindred Allan?”
“Yes, I’m delighted you remember my name.” He hobbled over to her, cane tapping against the tiled floors softly. “What are you seeking today?”
“I…” She choked on her words. It was too hard to pretend she was okay. The lies were becoming too much. She was so tired. “I just want a safe place to rest.” Silent tears streamed down her face.
“Come, child, come.”
Her mind shouted that he might be a Pillar. But she was tired of jumping at shadows and fighting invisible enemies. If she trusted wrongly in this…then at least it would all be over with, one way or another.
Kindred Allan guided her up the stairs and along the pathway that led to the Larks’ halls. There were a few other crimson-robed men and women he greeted briefly, who cast curious glances her way but said nothing. He took her to a small lounge, shooing off the other Larks who had been occupying it. There were pillows and chairs across the entirety of the room, a low table with a game half-finished on its top.
“Please, sit. You are safe here. You look hungry and thirsty; I’ll fetch you some food.”
“You really don’t need to—” Eira didn’t get to finish before he shut the door on her.
She stared about the room, wondering just how she ended up here of all places. With a monumental sigh that turned into a high-pitched, painful whine, Eira collapsed onto the pile of pillows beneath the window. The fabrics were threadbare and moth-eaten. Their colors had lost their luster from too many days of direct sunlight. But there was a sort of worn familiarity to them. Even though it was the first time her fingers had traced the intricate patterns, many people had come here before her, seeking reprieve and a moment to catch their breath just as she was.
Eira clutched a pillow to her chest, curling into a ball and just focusing on breathing. She could feel the ice crackling beneath her skin, trying to manifest as it did the day of the revelation—trying to numb her. Eira fought to keep it at bay. As hard as it was, she had to keep feeling. Numbness was worse, dangerous even.
The door opened again and Eira jolted up, ready to attack but instantly relaxing at the familiar faces rushing to greet her.
“Oh, thank the Mother!” Alyss threw her arms around Eira’s neck. “You really are here.”
“Thank you for looking after her,” Noelle said to Allan.
“Alyss? Noelle?” Eira blinked. “What’re you both doing here?”
“We ran after you, obviously.” Noelle rolled her eyes, helping Allan settle a platter of tea and cakes on the table in the center of the room by moving aside the game pieces. “You sprinted out of there like you were possessed.”
“We were so worried.” Alyss grabbed her hands. “You’ve been acting a bit strangely since the talk of your parents earlier. We thought we upset you.”
The conversation about her family…that had been today, hadn’t it? It all started to blur together in Eira’s mind. “No, you didn’t do anything. I’m sorry for worrying you.”
Noelle hummed as she sat in one of the chairs. Allan closed the door behind him, giving them privacy. “What did you tell me in the Tower forever ago?” Noelle made a show of thinking about what she was going to say, even though it was clear she already had it in mind. “That you shouldn’t apologize needlessly?”
“I don’t think that was quite what I said.” Eira smiled weakly.
“That was what you meant.” Noelle leaned forward, helping herself to a cake. “So, what happened?”
“Where’s Cullen?” Eira asked the second it hit her he was absent. Her mind was already inventing a thousand reasons why he was gone…most of them involving Ferro somehow having found out about them and doing horrible things to him.
“Keeping his father at bay,” Noelle answered.
“He wanted to come, truly. We could tell. But he told us to go on, that he could take care of his father and Levit to give us time,” Alyss added.
“Ah…” Eira stared out the window. “He really shouldn’t worry about me.”
“That ship has sailed.” Noelle snorted.
Eira scowled and snapped, “You have no idea why I say that. It’s not merely worrying about our future prospects or his father.” Though, those were also valid concerns.
“Why don’t you enlighten us, then?” Noelle tilted her head.
“I can’t.” Eira’s stomach rolled. She couldn’t look either of them in the eye.
