“She did the best she could.”
“Not everyone’s best is perfect,” she said. “The best is just that. And people should be proud of it.”
“I’m proud of my grandmother. She’s not so proud of the life we had and I hate that. I want to give her more. For that to happen, I have to give more to myself first.”
“Don’t be embarrassed for saying these things,” she said.
“I’m not,” he said, cutting more of his chicken. If he stuffed his mouth, he’d stop talking and feeling exactly what he’d just lied about.
“You totally are. Your face is flushed. There must be something about that age. My mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was thirteen. I remember thinking how horrible it would be if I lost her. Watching her go through chemo. It washard on everyone. We all stepped up to make life easier, but she didn’t want that either.”
“Women have their pride too,” he said.
“Yes. If I’d known, you and I could have talked about it back then. Been a shoulder for each other.”
He laughed. He thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. “Jocelyn. Don’t kid yourself. You would have only made a bad name for yourself if you’d done that.”
“Do you think I care all that much?”
“Maybe not now that I turned into something more, but back then, you would have.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to argue about it either. I’d like to think I wouldn’t have fallen for the peer pressure, but the truth is, I might have at some point. I lost some friends in high school for standing up for people they didn’t think were worthy.”
“And you would have lost even more.”
“You’re right, it’s in the past.” He wasn’t sure he liked how quickly she dropped it, but he’d expected it. “Where do you live? There are apartments above the bar right? Do you live there?”
“No,” he said. “I could but chose not to. The rent I get there is higher than what I pay and those two apartments are both smaller than mine. That money goes toward the mortgage on the place and reduces my costs.”
“Look at you talking all businesslike.”
“It’s right up your alley, isn’t it?” he asked. “The numbers queen. I remember you were good at math. But not so great with a paintbrush either.”
“I hated art class. It was my lowest grade. I think it sucks how they grade us. Not everyone has the same talent.”
“Life isn’t fair. I learned that.”
The hard way too. He wasn’t positive Jocelyn had too many hard things in life other than her mother being sick.
“It’s not,” she said. “I won’t pretend my life wasn’t pretty sweet growing up. That’d be stupid of me knowing where I came from and where I work.”
“That’s right.”
“I’ve had too many to count want to be around me for the name,” she said. “Which sucks. And I know, where is the violin?”
“Nope,” he said. “Being used isn’t a good feeling either.”
“Thanks for that. It’s not. My brothers have dealt with it too. You know who Gabe is married to, right?”
“Elise Kennedy,” he said.
“Of Kennedy Construction.”
“And your family and theirs, Olson Law, and Fierce Engineering all have a stake in those two buildings. I know.” He’d seen all the paperwork filed on it. “Some big-named friends you've got.”
“I guess. I don’t have many friends. Elise might be one of my closest now, but she’s family. She’s also pregnant so it's not like I’m going to ask her to do a bunch of things with me.”
“What about the woman you were with days ago?”
