"Huh, I can't believe I never realized it before."
Mom sipped her tea. "A lot of times, we don't see what's right in front of our faces."
We drank our tea in silence for a while and I finally told her my biggest worry about this pregnancy.
"I don't have health insurance. I don't know how I'm going to pay for this baby."
"Dad and I will get you added back onto ours," she said simply.
I shook my head. They couldn't afford to do that. They had a high-deductible plan right now because it was all they could afford after my dad's heart attack and open-heart surgery had put them under such huge financial strain. Sure, it would make my life easier but their premiums would likely double. They were almost done paying for dad's hospital stay two years ago.
"No, I can't let you do that."
"What about through the shop? You're the assistant manager. Are they still planning to promote you to full-time with benefits?"
I nodded. "Yes, but not until the beginning of next year."
By then it would be too late, I'd be in my third trimester.
"Ask Cam if she can move it up a bit," Mom suggested. "All she can do is say no."
I nodded and drank more tea.
Mom studied me for a long moment. "What about the father? Would you consider asking him for help?"
I thought about J.J. and I knew that I wouldn't have to ask. As soon as he found out I was pregnant, he was going to insist we do something crazy. Like get married.
"I know he'll want to help. He'll probably ask me to marry him the minute he hears."
"Why do you sound so glum about that?" she asked.
Because I didn't want any man to marry me out of a sense of obligation. I wanted what my parents had—unconditional, passionate love. My brothers and I had learned long ago to wear headphones if we were staying up late to read or study because Mom and Dad had a very...active intimate life.
They also adored each other. They drove each other nuts too, but they were still best friends.
"Lee?"
"I don't want to be someone's responsibility. I want to be the love of someone's life."
"Who says you won't be the love of his life? You said that I know you don't have time to date, but what you meant was that you don't want to date. You don't want the complications or the potential heartbreak. And I understand that. Your brothers haven't exactly been the best examples. But who's to say that he wouldn't fall in love with you if you gave him half a chance?"
I stared at her, knowing she could see the hope I was feeling. Then, I shook my head.
"How could that possibly happen? Pregnancy doesn't lend itself to falling in love."
My mother scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Stop looking for excuses not to give the poor guy a chance. Though, if I were you, I'd get started on the dating/seeing if you can fall in love portion right away before your brothers find out about him and try to run him off."
My stomach clenched at her words. She was right. My brothers were insanely protective of me, which was crazy considering how they'd treated women in their teens and early twenties. Robert and Scott were still single, but my oldest brother, D.J., had been married and divorced. D.J. eventually remarried to a wonderful woman. He must have learned his lesson because they seemed to be happy, even though he could be a knot head at times, and they had two little boys together. But, God, the path to getting there had been rocky. Robert hadn't made it to the state of wedded bliss, but he had lived with the mother of his daughter for a couple of years before they'd finally had it with each other. My middle brother, Clayton, was the only one of them who'd gotten married the first time and seemed happy to stay that way.
"They'll kill him if they ever find out who he is," I murmured.
"Now, honey, you know they won't."
I took a deep breath and dove right in. "Mom, it's J.J. McClane. He's the father."
"You're right. We'll just keep this between us for as long as we can." She drank more tea before she asked, "Maybe he should look into getting a bodyguard though, just in case it does get out."
I pushed my now empty cup out of the way and laid my head against the kitchen table.
