I didn't know what I was going to do.
I realized that he was looking at me, an expectant expression on his face. Oh, yeah, he wanted to see me again.
As if I would have time for a date now that I was cleaning eight houses a week, working twenty hours at Crave, and going to graduate school.
I stuck my pen inside my textbook to mark my place, closed it, and stacked the notebook I'd been writing in on top of it. Then, I put my elbows on the table and laced my fingers together. My brain raced as I tried to put together what I was going to say to him.
When I thought I had the best wording settled, I spoke, "Look, Jay, I had fun with you last month, but I've got a lot on my plate right now and I really don't think I could give you the time and attention you would deserve."
He smiled a little. "The time and attention I deserve?"
I knew it sounded prissy but I didn't think it would piss him off as much as me telling him that I had so much on my plate, plus the exhaustion I was experiencing, that I would likely be snoring before we even ordered drinks at dinner, much less got to the bedroom. Or that I didn't want him coming into my life and complicating it.
J.J. might not be as bad as my brothers in a lot of ways, but in others, he would be worse. Whether he intended to be or not, he was a major distraction and I couldn't afford to be distracted. When I'd paid my tuition for the fall semester, there had been a huge lump in my throat. I had enough saved up for the fall, spring, and summer sessions, but I was counting on making enough money this year to pay for the final two semesters I would need to finish my MBA.
That meant taking on extra house cleaning jobs and picking up the occasional extra shift for Cam and Sierra. Which meant I was either going to be working, studying, or sleeping every spare moment for the next two years.
"I promise I'm not very high maintenance," J.J. said.
I laughed a little. He probably wasn't. Unlike my brothers, he seemed to have grown up and become mostly an adult. He likely wouldn't expect my undivided attention and all my free time, but that didn't mean I wouldn't want to give it to him.
I could see the tactful way wasn't going to work, which meant I would have to be more blunt. J.J. had always taken my honest-to-a-fault words in stride when I was younger, I could only hope he was the same now.
"Why do you want to see me again?" I asked. I had to cut my sentence off abruptly as Steph came over to refill my tea glass.
"Hey, there, J.J. How're you doin'?" she asked him. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"Sweet tea, please, Steph."
"Want a menu?"
He eyed me for a moment. "You already eat?"
I shook my head but before I could speak, Steph answered for me. "Nope, just took her order a coupla minutes ago. If you know what you want, I can run it back right quick and Morrie will plate it up with Lee's."
Okay, so it seemed I was going to have lunch with J.J. whether I wanted to or not.
He grinned at me as if he knew my predicament. "Sure, Steph. I'll have the grilled chicken plate with baked potato and house salad, vinaigrette and potato fixin's on the side."
She winked at him. "Still on that diet, huh?"
J.J. patted his gut. "I prefer to call it a lifestyle adjustment. I'm not twenty anymore so the bacon cheeseburgers are for special occasions only."
No, he wasn't. And I had no idea why he was patting his gut because when I'd seen his naked body just a month ago. It had looked gorgeous to me.
Steph laughed at him, shaking her head. "Well, we'll have your favorite here when you're ready for cheat day," she said before walking away to get his drink.
Without hesitation, J.J. turned back toward me. "I want to see you again because I like you. I always have, but you were too young for me back then." His eyes drifted over my neck and chest briefly before they came back to my face. "But you're not too young now."
Holy hot flash.
I took a sip of my freshly filled sweet tea in hopes that it would cool me down a little and cleared my throat before I spoke. My reaction to him made me even more plain-spoken than usual. "Look, Jay. I like you, too, and I enjoyed having sex with you, but I'm working two jobs and going to grad school. When I say I won't be able to give you the time and attention you deserve, I really mean I won't be able to give you any time or attentionat all. I'm working fifty hours a week, studying every spare minute I can manage, and trying to catch a decent night's sleep every night. I don't have any energy left for you. Or for anyone."
I stopped speaking when I saw the expression on J.J.'s face. It was tender but also amused. I didn't get a chance to say anything else because he reached across the table and took my hand, toying with my fingers.
I didn't jerk away, but I did remove my hand from his grip. If anyone saw us sitting here all cozy and holding hands, it would be all over town by the end of the day. And since I didn't intend to date J.J., I didn't want to deal with the gossip that would follow.
"I'm serious, Jay," I said, repeating his name for emphasis.
