“Well, now Rhiannon will have her chance to do just that if she hasn’t already.” He straightened from the cabinets, the gentle look from earlier completely absent in his expression. He was furious and it showed. “That book was dangerous and you knew it. It should have been destroyed.”
He was both right and wrong. I had no way of knowing what sorts of evil Gaius had created during his life. That book would have been our only protection if we ever found ourselves faced with a creature of his making.
But he was right. I knew the book was dangerous, which was why I hadn’t told a single soul about its existence.
“I was in a shitty spot, Macgrath. Either choice could have damned us. I took the risk and chose to hide the grimoire. It might have been a mistake, but I don’t think so.” I was practically yelling now as I stood and put my hands on my hips. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to call Savannah and see if Kerry is with her. Now that Rhiannon has the grimoire, I need to find her as quickly as possible. If Kerry is as powerful as I think she is, then she can help me.”
Macgrath watched me silently as I spoke and he didn’t move as I left the room. I wanted to stomp or to throw something, basically have a good old-fashioned temper tantrum. I hadn’t been this aggravated with another creature in a long time. It was different than what I felt toward Rhiannon when she took Savannah. That was a killing rage, something I was familiar with.
This was a different emotion. I wanted to yell at him, to fight with him, but I didn’t want to annihilate him. I wanted him to be there even when it was done and my anger was used up. Even though I was irritated as hell right now, in the back of my mind, I knew I wouldn’t be angry forever.
Centuries ago, when I woke up on the bank of the stream with my past a complete blank, I’d been cold. Not just on the outside, but within. My emotions were dull, muted, and some were nearly non-existent. I had little compassion and felt no love. Not until a few months later when my daughter quickened in my belly. At the time, the rush of that emotion had nearly torn me apart. It had been like living in a cave for months, existing in absolute darkness, and stepping out into the sunlight. The love had been blinding and painful, but welcome.
But even after that, I struggled. Joy, sadness, anger, fear…they were all foreign to me. I understood the concepts, but never experienced them. Through the centuries, the stranglehold on my emotions had eased, but I’d always felt somewhat detached from humanity.
Until Savannah. She had breached the wall around my heart, leaving a crack.
And Macgrath had widened it. I could practically feel the barrier between my emotions and the world crumbling.
For hundreds of years, my stone heart lay dormant in my chest. If the stone vanished, what would my heart be made of then?
