“Do you feel up to talking about what happened in the attic?” he asked. “When you collapsed.”
My mouth was dry again, so I sipped more water before I replied, “I’m not entirely sure what happened. I was looking at you, but there was another, well,yousuperimposed. Like two different versions of you were existing in unison. Your hair was longer and your clothes…” I trailed off, lifting a hand to my head and rubbing my fingertips over my forehead. There was a faint throb there, as though the agonizing headache was threatening to return if I didn’t stop repeating what I’d seen. “They were different. It was you, but you weren’t the same.”
“That’s when the headache started?” he asked. He turned around when the microwave dinged.
“Yes, that’s when it hit me. Though headache seems like a mild term for what I was experiencing.”
He winced as he pulled the steaming bowl from the microwave. “You went down hard and fast,” he murmured. He set the bowl down in front of me and pulled a fork out of the drawer. “Scared the shit out of me.”
“It wasn’t too pleasant for me either,” I grumbled as I dug into the stir-fry.
“Kerry said that you’re cursed, but the curse is weakening. That’s why you’re seeing things and why it hurt so badly when you did.”
“I’ve been cursed for a long time,” I stated.
“What happened to you?”
I chewed slowly and shrugged as I thought about the best way to answer his question. “I honestly have no idea. I woke up one morning and I was lying on the ground in the forest. I didn’t know my name or where I was from. My entire past was gone. I—” I stopped, swallowing reflexively as my throat closed with emotion. Once I gained control, I continued, “It’s strange. It was so long ago that it’s almost as if it happened to someone else. Yet sometimes…sometimes it still hurts like it was yesterday.”
Macgrath reached across the granite countertop and took my hand, his thumb smoothing across my palm in a soothing motion. My palm tingled from his touch, growing warm. Then the sensation traveled up my arm to my shoulder and to the rest of my body.
“That’s something we have in common,” he murmured, staring down at where he cradled my hand. “My past is lost as well.” His gaze lifted to mine. “There are times throughout the centuries that I’ve wondered if this curse was actually a blessing. I’m more monster than human and there are so many things I could have done that would have brought this curse on me. How much blood is truly on my hands? Who did I hurt? Did I kill them?”
I reached out with my other hand and laid it over our joined fingers, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. He’d made the choice to join forces with Rhiannon and that suggested his judgment wasn’t the best. But he also protected Savannah from Rhiannon’s intentions when it came down to it. He was a walking contradiction and I wanted to comfort him, even if I couldn’t condone the choices he’d made before we met. Even if I couldn’t quite bring myself to trust him completely. Not yet.
Once again we shared a moment of mutual understanding and comfort. The sparking sexual tension that usually accompanied our exchanges was muted by compassion and shared pain.
His other hand lifted to my face and he cupped my cheek, his thumb sliding along the bottom edge of my lip. The tingles throughout my body became a steady throb. “When you look at me this way, it makes me forget. Just for a moment.”
Before I could gather my wits to respond, he took a deep breath and released me, stepping back from the island. His sudden withdrawal left me feeling bereft and cold. I shivered.
“You need to eat,” he insisted. “Then we need to discuss exactly what was in the book that Rhiannon took.”
Though his final statement ruined my appetite, I picked up my fork and took a bite. I would need my strength for the coming days. Especially if my suspicions about Rhiannon’s intentions were correct.
Macgrath cleaned up the kitchen as I ate. When I finished, I pushed the bowl to the side and drank the last of the water from the bottle. Once I had no other reason to delay, I took a deep breath.
“I don’t know how Rhiannon knew about the book,” I stated.
Macgrath stopped what he was doing and faced me.
I continued, “I didn’t tell anyone. Not even Savannah.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the cabinets. “Why didn’t you destroy the grimoire?”
“That question is difficult to answer,” I replied with a sigh. “When I discovered it in the nineteenth century, I didn’t know exactly what it was. I knew the magic involved was dark, and to me, that was reason enough to keep it.”
“You and I both know how dangerous dark magic can be.”
With a nod, I agreed, “Yes, which is the very reason I kept it. I knew that if I ever went up against the warlock who wrote the spells in the grimoire, I would need the book. The powers Gaius used were not just dark, they were ancient. Most of that knowledge is lost to history. Very few witches today would recognize that magic, much less be strong enough to fight it. He called upon the power that created the old gods, the power that gave them life. That grimoire would have been the difference between victory and defeat in a battle with the warlock.”
“But Gaius is dead,” Macgrath pointed out.
“And I didn’t know that at the time,” I shot back. “For all I knew, he was traveling the earth, looking for this book or planning something truly evil.”
“Then why didn’t you destroy it when you found out he was no longer a threat?” he asked me, his eyes flaring with anger. His irises began to glow like two emerald gemstones reflecting the sunlight.
“Because Rhys was still alive and I didn’t know if Gaius or Rhiannon had managed to create another being like him. One that wasn’t as good or controlled,” I answered. My voice was rising. I tried to control it, but the accusatory stare he was giving me was beginning to piss me off.
