Her mom gave her a patronizing look before doing what she did best: destroying Hailey. “You can’t have it all Hailey. You need to pick what will be good for you in the long run and Gage can support you in the long run. It’s not like you're some supermodel that can get any guy she wants. Where are you going to find a man that can support you the way he can that will want to be with anaspiring author? You’re wasting your time on a hobby when you should be focused on your future. You’re almost thirty and your child-bearing years are running out.”
It’s odd when you know something is coming, you can’t quite stop it, it’s not even something you haven’t heard before, and it still leaves you completely deflated. In her mother’s world, people only had value if they were model-thin and beautiful. She wasn’t sure if her mom ever called her beautiful. She certainly couldn’t tell you the last time it happened.
The thoughts racing through her head stopped on a quote she saw recently in one of her online support groups for mental health. It said, “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes.” Sigmund Freud had said it, apparently, and it was sounding off in her head at the moment. Of course, shewasmedically diagnosed with depression.
The question was, what was she going to do knowing she was, in fact, surrounded by assholes?
15
A COUPLE NIGHTS LATER, Hailey had a night shift at the gym but she went early to get some climbing in with Bridget before she sat at the front desk all night.
She was just climbing down from hitting the top of the wall of a problem she’d been working on for a week when she almost ran into a couple. She quickly apologized and then realized the guy looked familiar. Ah, it was the guy Bridget was super inappropriate with, the one she asked if he thought she needed to get in shape like Gage said.
“Oh, hey!” he waved in recognition. He turned to the cute brunette woman next to him. “Violet, this is that girl I was telling you about whose boyfriend is a douche bag and then Chris tried hitting on her.”
“Oh geez, I’m so sorry about Chris. He’s my brother and he doesn’t understand the whole ‘read the room’ thing.”
“It’s no problem. He was kind of funny,” Hailey responded with a smile, but she felt a little uncomfortable that this guy went home and talked to his girlfriend about her. Was her situation that bad?
“You’re not still with that guy are you?” the guy asked, before his girlfriend backhanded him across the shoulder.
“Danny, that’s none of your business!” Then she turned back to Hailey. “For what it’s worth, your relationship is none of our business, but now that I’ve met you I can tell you that you are perfect. You kind of look like Nina Dobrev!”
“Yo! I totally see it! You do look like her,” Danny added.
“Wow, really? Thanks! That just made my day!”
“No wonder Chris was hitting on you. He loves that vampire show.”
Hailey just laughed and tried to believe their compliments. That actress was fucking gorgeous, but they thought she looked like her? People wouldn’t lie about those kinds of things, right? They would just say nothing. Right? They’re probably just being nice, or trying to make her feel better since they knew about her shitty boyfriend.
“He wasn’t that bad, but you can let him down easy for me. I’m still spoken for.” Hailey tried not to think about the fact that Avery’s face just popped into her mind.
“Well, you do you, but my boyfriend was right. You don’t need to change a thing,” she offered a smile with her praise and gave Hailey one more look up and down that made her blush, but she couldn’t help but beam back. It wasn’t every day she got such good compliments. Were boyfriends supposed to give you compliments? She told herself she’d look into that.
They exchanged a few more pleasantries before the couple moved on to their climbs, but Hailey basked in the positive attention she just got.
She hit her next few attempts on the rock walls with a little bit more confidence than usual and was actually proud of herself. She tried some climbs she’d been having trouble with and dominated them with this newfound confidence. Hailey wondered what it would be like to feel like this all the time. Do people do that? Just feel good about themselves all the time? That sounded crazy.
As Hailey was pondering this, she didn’t notice Bridget walk up and sit down beside her.
“You know, you’re having a conversation with yourself in your head again and it’s really obvious on your face. What’s going on?”
“Oh, uh. I just felt good about myself for ten minutes and was thinking about how weird that is.”
Bridget blinked a few times, staring at Hailey, probably wondering why the fuck they were friends.
“Oh sweetie. Let me be in charge of your life for just one day and maybe we can get you to keep some of that confidence. What started these thoughts?”
“Remember those guys you were being super inappropriate with, asking if they thought I needed to get in shape?” Bridget nodded. “I just ran into the first one with the girlfriend and he was with his girlfriend this time. Apparently they talked about me? What’s this world coming to? Anyway, she agreed with them. Bridget, I have a question and I need you to be honest with me.”
“Anything, babe. Fire away.”
“Do you think Gage affects my confidence?”
Bridget fell back against the gym mats with a hand across her head. God, this bitch was dramatic. But that’s why Hailey loved her. It had definitely been at least ten whole seconds but it felt like ten days.
“Uh, Bridge? You still with me?”
