Her dad gave her a proud smile and it helped settle Hailey’s nerves. “Well, I can’t wait to read it.” His attention turned to Gage who was approaching from his other side.
“Mr. Williams, good to see you again. How’s that golf swing coming?”
The first time Gage and Hailey’s dad met, it was a little testy. Her dad had grilled him with all kinds of questions about his work and tried to intimidate him. But, then Gage brought up golf and her dad fell in line with Gage’s charm. He wasn’t as pushy about marrying him as her mom was, but they were on better terms than when they started. It helped that Gage was able to get her dad into that exclusive country club for a round of golf that ended up winning him over.
Hailey zoned out from their conversation and turned her attention to some of the food that was spread out on the kitchen table. She went to grab a roll out of the breadbasket when her mom brought her out of her daze.
“Don’t overdo it on bread. You don’t need all those carbs, Hailey.”
She looked at the rest of the food on the table: ravioli, baked ziti and two baskets filled with dinner rolls.
“There’s nothing but carbs on this table. Would you prefer me to munch on the grass outside?”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t have any, just don’toverdoit, Hailey,” she said under her breath so Gage and her dad couldn’t hear. Hailey took another deep breath and realized she would need to access some of those coping strategies she discussed with Marley to get through dinner tonight.
After her mom found a big vase for Gage’s dumb flowers and placed them somewhere prominent, they sat down at the table and started to fill their plates. Conversation flew from one topic to another but mostly focused on Gage and his work, or Gage and his family, or Gage and his golf game, or Gage and blah blah blah who the fuck cares?
Okay, so maybe she was moving into “I’m definitely dumping him” territory.
Hailey stayed pretty quiet during the dinner, chiming in only when people talked to her directly, which barely happened thanks to her mom and Gage dominating the conversation. Her dad was fixated on his plate filled with all the Italian food it could fit.
When she reached for a second helping of ravioli, her mom nudged her arm and not so quietly said, “Hailey, you don’t need anymore ravioli. You need to watch your figure.”
Her resolve was wearing thin and she was finding it harder and harder to fake her smiles when people were making her feel less than. She decided not to stay quiet anymore.
“Why, what’s wrong with my figure, Mom?” Hailey said while leveling a glare at her.
Her mom’s eyes widened a bit before narrowing. “Nothing at all, but we need to keep it that way! You don’t want to gain any weight and lose the interest of your man over there.”
Gage was smart for once and didn’t say anything, but Hailey couldn’t help it.
“Oh, do you think he won’t love me anymore if I gain a few pounds? I thought you wanted me to have kids, Mom.” She was really playing with fire now, and her blood was running hot. She turned to Gage, “Gage, will you still love me if I gain some weight while having your children?”
“That’s what hall passes are for, right?” Gage said before remembering where he was. Hailey guessed the idea of her gaining weight threw him off so much that he forgot to stay charming in front of her parents. Luckily for him, her parents didn’t seem to know what he meantby a hall pass, being able to cheat on your partner, so he kept going. “I mean, of course I would still love you if you gained weight.”
Hailey thought back to a conversation they had a few months ago when she showed him that picture of her where she was just a bit heavier in college. He made it clear: he never would have asked her out if she still looked like that.
As insecure as Hailey was about her weight—likely thanks to her mother—she wasn’t so insecure to realize she deserved to be loved if she gained weight while bearing someone’s damn child, let alone at all. If Gage was trying to convince her she’d be better off single, he was actually doing a pretty good job of it. And her mom was actually helping!
While growing up, there was a lot of competition among her mother’s family. There were a lot of women and for some reason they all cared very much about image, which was odd because none of them were particularly confident in themselves. Hailey was constantly being compared to her cousin Marie who was two years younger than her but had married a plastic surgeon a few years back. They had two beautiful children and her mother always managed to bring her up in conversation.
Ironically, whenever she had private conversations with Marie all they did was complain about theirpartners. Marie made the mistake of marrying for looks and money more than love and she was feeling the effects of that these days. Who could have predicted such a thing? She didn’t want to settle like that and be with a guy when they didn’t share a deep lo—oh fuck.
That thought numbed her for a moment. Was that what she was doing with Gage? Settling for money and looks? How could she not see it before? Marie was fucking miserable, and wasn’t Hailey just as miserable with Gage? Well, shit.
After all that, Hailey was gathering the nerve to fight back a bit at dinner. “Hear that, Mom? He’ll still love me,” she said as she put three more ravioli on her plate. After the tension shift in the room, Gage tried to bring it back to something more positive.
“Everything is delicious, Mrs. Williams. I really love the meatballs. Are those beef or turkey?”
Hailey took the opportunity to zone back out and enjoy what was left on her plate. The meatballs were obviously beef and she knew Gage knew. She could feel her patience wearing thin and decided to focus on her breathing like Marley said. In for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight. Chewing her ravioli made that a little more difficult but she worked with it and eventually she felt herself calm down. She couldn’t wait to tell Marley about successfully using breathing exercises to keep herself from throwing a ravioli at her mother’s face.
After the leftovers were all wrapped up and the table was cleared, Hailey’s dad offered to play Gage in a game of pool down the basement. So much for a quick exit, she thought.
She helped her mom wash the dishes and waited for the grilling to start. Not so shockingly, it didn’t take long.
“Hailey, I don’t know why you give me so much grief when I’m just looking out for you. Men like Gage can have any woman they want so you have to stay beautiful for them. He’s handsome, has his own house, goes to church with his mother, he has a great job and he can support you. His family is Italian and he can cook. What else could you possibly want?”
She took a deep breath before answering with something she knew would just be ignored anyway. “I dunno, Mom. How about someone who loves me for me and will love me no matter what? Gage has made it clear he wouldn’t still love me if I gained weight. He doesn’t let me be myself in front of his friends. He doesn’t put me first, ever.”
