“Maxford.” A big smile crosses her face before she opens her eyes. When she does, she drinks him in, and we can see her visibly relax and in a few minutes lucidity returns. After a couple of minutes, she notices Opal and me at the table surrounded by flowers. She motions for Max to help her up.
“Looks like we have some arrangements to make.” Shaking an index finger at her grandson, she says to me, “Don’t let him fool you, Nola. He thinks he’s got a knack for this but he doesn’t. He can’t be great at everything, after all.”
I laugh as he rolls his eyes and helps his grandma to her chair. She wastes no time, grabbing a few pale pink peonies and a handful of sunset-colored tulips. Max steps away for a second, into her bedroom to grab a chair for himself, as Stella says, “Nola, Mitchell tells me that you’re going to be teaching an acrylics class in one of my favorite cities. I spent three months there once.”
“That’s great you get to do a class! I didn’t know that,” he says enthusiastically as he sets the chair up next to me.
“Yes, she’ll have a very busy summer and I couldn’t be more thrilled for her and Emma.”
Max’s face falls as he pieces together how my situation may be similar to the one his grandmother had years ago. “Stella, when did you ever live in New York?”
“Oh no, Maxford, not the Big Apple. I’m talking about the time I followed my mother to one of her sets when she filmed in Old Stadt Salzburg.”
28
NOLA
It’s evening by the time we leave White Pine Care Center. Opal and I delivered all the vases to residents, while Max stayed behind to visit with Stella. He looks worse for the wear and whether that’s life on the road or the surprise when he landed, I haven’t asked.
“Ready to go?” I link my fingers through his and lead him out of the building into the parking lot. He walks me to the driver’s side and opens the door for me. “I was thinking maybe we’d pick up those protein bowls you like for dinner tonight.”
He thinks about this and leans his body against the car. “Can we maybe go hike somewhere first? Table Rock? I’ve got a lot I need to process.”
“Sure.” That last sentence hangs ominously. We aren’t dressed for the favorite hiking spot of Boiseans. Dusty switchbacks to a flat rock with a tall cross that overlooks the valley. It’s a trail that gives you a good sweat. The hardcore participants run it for thrills that I’ll never understand.
I give him a once-over, in his post-ball game look of dresschinos and button up under a dark blazer. My flowy spring dress will at least keep me cool as we climb the trail in the warm May evening, and I’m grateful to spot a pair of forgotten tennis shoes under the passenger seat. Overall, neither one of us looks up for the challenge.
“If we’re going to do this, I’ll need a snack,” I tell him and drive up the street to a little gas station that caters to hikers.
Max lets out a tired laugh. “If you tell me you’re getting sushi . . .”
“Calm down, Mr. All-About-Nutrition now. They have protein snack packs and the best pebble ice for fountain Diet Pepsi.”
Half an hour later,we’re on the trail, climbing slowly as the sun beats its evening heat on us. Dust kicks up around us and the yellow Arrowleaf Balsamroot is blooming all over the hills. Near one of the parks downtown there’s a hot air balloon drifting lazily. It really is peaceful, if not for the looming conversation I know waits for us.
The first switchback is a long and slow one that we spend lost in our own thoughts. This morning, I was ready to commit to Mitchell and tell Max that it’ll be hard to be apart but it’s three months. His seasons are longer than that and half the time we’ll be in Europe, he’ll be on the road anyway. We’d be back in time for the playoffs, easy.
Now, having experienced a full episode cycle with Stella, I’m struggling. I don’t feel good about being across the world after I’d committed to being available to her until Max was done in the fall.
There’s one more switchback to go, one final curve up tothe top, when a small rock makes its way into my shoe, lodging itself between the ball of my foot and the shoe bed. Max notices my struggle and stops. I reach out to him, steadying myself as I loosen my shoe to pry the rock free. During this break, we’re passed by a group of cross-country runners making their way to the top for sunset. Two women walking dogs and talking loudly about life follow next, waving to us as they go on. A guy with a weighted backpack passes after that. Three mountain bikers head down, claiming the right of way. Having stopped to fix my shoe, we lose our momentum, and once we are able to see how busy the top had gotten already, I’m not sure the last quarter mile is worth the hassle.
“Do you have your heart set on getting up there?” Max asks.
I give him a wide smile. “My heart is on the couch right now.”
The bend we’ve stopped at has a large boulder, perfect for two. We both sit down, legs leaning against one another, and peel open our overpriced convenience store snack packs of nuts, cheese squares, and salami rounds.
We face the valley, with the path at our backs. Nobody is paying any attention to us. If we do end up in the gossip columns, we’ll look like we got lost going on a date, but that’s something I can live with. I take a long drink of my soda and say, “Who wants to go first?”
“How long have you known about this offer for Europe?” he asks.
I push a stray hair off my face and secure it into my ponytail. “Mitchell called me the day Emma and I surprised you.”
His face stays stoic, but I see his jaw tense for a slightmoment. He throws a few nuts into his mouth and speaks around them. “It hurts that you didn’t want to tell me.”
“It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you that weekend, I just didn’t know how I felt about it yet.”
He gets a sad look on his face as he says, “I didn’t need you to have all the answers when you brought it up. I wish you would’ve felt like you could share such life-changing news with me and we could’ve talked it out together. That’s the part that stings. I feel like you didn’t even want me to know.”
