Joanna shook her head, wishing her father’s words were true, but knowing they weren’t. “Aurelia will have such a hard time next year. And now there is no hope of anyone marrying me. I doubt even a wealthy merchant would want me as a way to tie himself to nobility. Perhaps one would be willing to overlook the scandal to hire me as a governess. They would get my services at a discount, but at least it’s not nothing.”
“You are not going to become a governess,” her father said firmly.
She shrugged. “I don’t see what other choice I have, to be honest. A husband is certainly out of the question now. And I never had a chance with the duke, not really.”
A tear slipped down her cheek as she thought about him. Maybe she could be a coward and send him a note, along with all the presents he bought her. The least she could do was return the jewelry and dresses.
Before she could say anything, her mother appeared in the open doorway of her bedchamber. Her eyes were puffy from crying, but she managed to give Joanna a small smile.
“The Duke of Blackwell is here to see you, my dear.”
So much for that plan.
Joanna took a deep breath and got out of bed. “Give me a moment, please,” she said, mustering up as much strength as she possibly could. “I just need to get dressed. If Mrs. Lucas can be spared, I would appreciate her help with packing up all the duke’s gifts. I need to return them to him.”
Her parents quietly left the room, and she was alone for a moment before the housekeeper joined her. The older woman gave her a sad smile, but didn’t say anything.
They worked in silence. It didn’t take Joanna long to dress in one of her more modest afternoon dresses. It was three years out of fashion, the blue cotton fabric was slightly faded, and the hem on the left sleeve had been resewn twice already. But she didn’t have to be clad in luxury for this unpleasant visit.
All the gifts from the duke were able to be packed in two large traveling trunks. After they were packed, the housekeeper turned to Joanna. “I just want you to know that the papers are wrong about you,” she said. “You didn’t manipulate him into anything. It’s plain as day to both me and Mary that he cares for you, miss.”
Joanna smiled wanly. “I appreciate that. But it doesn’t matter now. Even if he did care for me, he had no intention of marrying me. I will just damage his reputation further by continuing on with our agreement, so I must end it. Thank you, though. For everything. This will mean Mary will not be able to be my maid anymore, and I am sorry about that.”
The housekeeper nodded. “It’s all right, my lady. We will manage. I know she enjoyed working for you, though.”
Joanna felt a lump form in her throat. “I enjoyed spending time with her as well.”
Unable to put it off anymore, she went downstairs to the drawing room, where Evan was pacing, looking agitated. Mrs. Lucas followed behind her and stood at attention just inside the drawing room. There would be no more risk of unchaperoned visits now.
When he saw her, his face broke out into a smile, only for it to dissolve into a worried frown. “What is the matter?”
Oh no. He had not heard. This was even worse than she thought. “There was an article in the gossip columns yesterday. You didn’t see it?”
He waved his hand dismissively. “I don’t read that trash, and I have not talked to my brother or grandmother today. I don’t care what it says about your father.”
“It’s not about my father. Not this time.” She looked around for a spare copy of the newspaper.
Out of her peripheral vision, she saw the housekeeper take a folded piece of paper out of her pocket. She handed it to Joanna with an apologetic look. Joanna smiled her thanks before handing it over to Evan. She was happy she had not eaten breakfast today because her stomach was already churning.
Evan took the paper from her hands and skimmed over the words. Confusion turned into disbelief and anger before he tossed the paper to the side.
“How dare they write such things about you?” he growled. “I will find whoever wrote this trash and I will destroy them. They will publicly apologize, and they will think twice before picking up a pen again.”
Joanna felt a rush of appreciation for his protectiveness, but it also made her heart break even more.
“It would not change anything,” she said. “You cannot make the ton forget about that article, can you? Everyone has seen it, and they will remember it. I am ruined.”
“You are not ruined,” he said. “So, someone found out you have been visiting me. So what? I will marry you, and it will not matter anymore.”
She inhaled sharply. She had longed for him to propose to her. When she was alone in her room, she would admit to herself that she didn’t just want a business arrangement with him. She wanted something real. She wanted to truly court him and then marry him.
But not like this. Not because he felt obligated to protect her because of the scandal sheets.
“You will do no such thing,” she said sharply. “It was never my plan to trap you in marriage, and I will not hurt you anymore. So I am canceling our agreement.”
She refused to look at him, scared about what she would see. Would he look heartbroken or relieved? Either reaction would be equally painful.
“Mrs. Lucas and I have already taken the liberty of packing up all of your presents. So you can take them with you when you leave.”
