“Just like that?” he growled. “You made the decision for both of us, then? Don’t I get a say in this?”
“It is the practical choice and you know it,” she said. “We were going to break it off at the end of the Season anyway. It’s only a week early.” She risked a glance at his face only to see him looking completely devastated. She turned away quickly. “I know I am not holding up my end of the agreement, so I understand if you don’t wish to provide my dowry or find me a husband. All I ask is that you give Aurelia a dowry, so she has a fighting chance of escaping the familial curse.”
“I want to take care of you, too,” he said. “I don’t care if we end the agreement now. I will protect you. I will make sure you are all right.”
She shook her head. “No, please. A dowry would be wasted on me now. I didn’t spend time with you because of the money. I spent time with you because I wanted to.”
“I know,” he said softly. “At least, I know you weren’t with me just because of the money. And I didn’t enjoy your company just because you were the first woman who didn’t run screaming at the sight of me.”
She smiled, but could not stop a tear from falling down her face. “I know. I wish this could be different.”
He nodded and swallowed. “Yes. Me too.”
She turned to leave. “I am afraid we have nothing more to discuss. I would offer you some tea, but it would be quite painful now, I think. Goodbye, Your Grace. I wish you well.”
As she started to walk out of the room, he called. “Joanna?—”
“Please,” she said, spinning around. Her voice broke on the word, and she could have kicked herself for it. “This is already hard enough. Don’t make it worse.”
He looked at her intently. “I don’t care what they say about you. I want you. I can fix this, so please let me.”
“No,” she said. “I can’t trap you in marriage.” She took a deep breath. “I will not do it, Your Grace. I want to take care of you, the way you have taken care of me all of this time. But the only way I can do that is to stay away from you. That’s the only protection I can give you.”
“I don’t need your protection,” he growled.
“Well, you have it anyway,” she said. “I am not going to ruin your life. Everything I did, I did of my own free will. When I visited you alone, I gambled with my reputation, and I lost. Which should be no surprise to anyone, right? I am my father’s daughter, after all.” She took a deep breath, trying to fight back the fresh wave of tears that threatened to rise up. “The pointis, this isn’t your responsibility. I can no longer accept your generosity, Your Grace. But I wish you well.”
CHAPTER 34
Evan stared at Joanna’s disappearing form, stunned. He didn’t know what had just happened. He came over here with the intention of asking her to marry him. But instead, she ended their arrangement over some gossip rag drivel.
He glared at the offending piece of paper, now crumpled on the floor. This particular gossip rag liked to keep its writers anonymous. It gave them an air of mystery while also protecting them from the consequences of their actions.
He was going to find the writer and ruin them for what they said about Joanna. He did not give a damn what they said about him. They could call him a cold monster or a sad, lonely man. It did not matter to him.
But they had no right to go after her that way.
Knowing he could not just stand alone in the drawing room forever, Evan made his way outside to the carriage. Mrs. Lucas had already put the two traveling trunks inside, with the help of the driver. A lump formed in his throat, knowing those trunks contained everything he had given Joanna. He wanted to bring them back inside and insist she keep them. They were gifts, after all.
But he knew she would just insist he take them anyway.
Sighing, he got into the carriage. “Blackwell, please,” he told the driver.
He barely remembered the ride back to Blackwell Manor. But when he arrived, he was quick to get out of the carriage, with the driver carrying the packages inside behind him.
Peter met him at the door, looking wary. “Evan?—”
“I assume you read the article,” Evan interrupted. “I need you to call all the staff into the ballroom. I want to find out who gossiped.”
“Of course,” his brother said, falling into step beside him. “How did it go? When is the wedding?”
Evan winced. “There will be no wedding.”
Peter frowned. “What do you mean? You went over there with the intention to propose, did you not? She would have to accept you, especially after appearing on the scandal sheets.”
“She didn’t,” he snapped. “She…” he stopped walking and took a deep breath before running his fingers through his hair.
After a moment, he forced a calm, composed demeanor to fall into place. No matter what inner turmoil he was feeling inside, all anyone would see on the outside was cold indifference.
