This year, I’m appropriately dressed in my jeans and a Christmas jumper, complete with a flashing Rudolph nose. Ivan picked me up ten minutes ago, and we’re cruising through the streets lit with twinkling fairy lights.
“I can’t believe it’s been a year,” I say. “Time passes so quickly.”
He squeezes my hand. “That I can agree with. Blink again, and it’ll be next Christmas.” His thumb strokes over my knuckles, a simple gesture that sends warmth spiraling up my arm. “Time is precious, and it’s a shame when it’s wasted.”
My chest strains slightly. We’ve both wasted time this year being stubborn and not talking things through. If I could claw those months back, I would.
“My sister told me once,” I say, “that time is infinite, but life is finite. With every year, the saying becomes more relevant.”
He doesn’t respond, just lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles softly. Today feels like the first day of us again. The past weeks have been the dress rehearsal.
Auntie Meryl sits in the same chair with her family surrounding her. Everything as chaotic and heartwarming as the year before. She holds court; everyone hangs on her every word as she dishes out opinions on life, love, and hygiene like a ninety-nine-year-old oracle.
People distribute gifts to each other and plant kisses on rosy cheeks. Ivan stays by my side, either reintroducing me to people with his hand on the small of my back or whispering in my ear. Every touch feels like he’s relearning me, embracing us.
“What are you two lovebirds whispering about?” Auntie Meryl snaps. “Tell an old lady and make my night. Things are a bit dry now. I could do with some stories to live vicariously through.”
My hand searches my chin to ensure my jaw is still attached.
“I was a young woman once,” she says with a wink. “Ninety-nine. I never thought I’d see eighty, never mind this obscene number. I’m an antique.”
“I’m not exactly young,” I mutter.
“You’re younger than me, dear. That makes you young in my eyes. Youth is a state of mind. Some people let life slip by, growing old with each day that passes. Don’t be one of them. Grab your chances while they’re there.”
Her knowing eyes hold mine, then she glances at the man beside me.
“You make a lovely couple. Enjoy each other. Don’t let another moment pass you by.”
Her words land hard, like a truth I’ve been avoiding. I can’t look away or ignore it. Now is the time to grasp what I’m afraid of—letting myself be happy. Trusting another person with my heart again.
Ivan and I sit on the sofa, side by side, his arm wrapped around my shoulders as he pulls me a bit closer. My body melds to his, perfectly sliding home.
The evening continues with games of charades and mountains of chocolate. The clock hits eleven, and Auntie Meryl makes her excuses for everyone to leave. We wish them all a Merry Christmas and walk out, hand in hand. He opens my car door like the gentleman he is, then takes his place beside me.
“What are your plans tomorrow?” he asks as we pull up outside my apartment. I found it strange he never asked me this before, but I know he spends the day by himself every year. Perhaps it never crossed his mind.
“I’m going to my brother-in-law’s,” I tell him. “The kids are growing up fast.”
“You’re lucky to have them,” he says, staring straight ahead out of the windshield. He looks lost in thought. “I wish mybrother had had the chance to start a family. It’s something neither of us was blessed with.”
I place my hand on his thigh in silent companionship, a sign that I’m right here with him, I understand the pain.
“Bex got the family, eventually,” I say, and he looks at me, “but she hasn’t had the chance to see her son grow up or enjoy her husband. I figured it’s my responsibility to know as much as possible so that when I see her again…”
The tears come fast like they always do when the moment hurts.
“So, when I see her, I can bore her for millennia with tales and stories. Every tedious damn detail.”
He chuckles, pushing a stray lock of hair from my eyes. “I’m sure she’ll love that.”
“Come with me tomorrow,” I add, before I overthink it.
He cups my cheek then places warm lips on mine. His kiss is soft but consuming; it sends shivers through my body.
“On one condition,” he whispers.
“What’s that?”
