“That is not an answer,” he said sharply. “Thalia…” His footsteps creaked across the floorboard as he edged into the room. He must have sensed that something was wrong, even if he did not know what. “Whatever is wrong between you and the Duke, it is for the two of you to reach an agreement. He is your husband, you are his wife, and you cannot run back home the moment things become difficult.”
“Is that what you think I am doing? Running?”
“It looks as if you are.” He stopped halfway across the room. “And considering how delicate your marriage is – what people have been saying about it’s circumstance, I would have thought that you of all people would know how important it is not to rock the boat.”
“Forgive me for not considering the judgement of others,” she said coldly. “How selfish of me.”
“It is not about being selfish, Thalia,” he snapped. “I highly doubt the Duke would allow you to leave his home like this, which leads me to suspect that you have left without his permission. If he comes here to fetch you, which I am sure her will, that is not something that…” She heard him breathe deeply. “It will invite unnecessary gossip.”
“I do not care.”
“You should care,” he said. “Is that not the entire point of your marriage in the first place? Did you not go through with this because…” Another deep groan. “Tell me what is going on, Thalia. If you came here to hide, tell me. If you need my help, tell me.”
She said nothing. But it was not because she did not trust her brother. Nor was it because she did not want his help. It was because when the words threatened to leave her mouth, she felt the pain as if it was fresh. A knife through her chest, a blade across her throat, and it was all she could do to not burst into tears.
“Thalia?” he asked again, his tone hard like iron. “Tell me, what is going on. Please.”
Thalia braced herself. She did not want to cry in front of her brother. Nor did she want to give the Duke her tears. But the feelings of morosity inside of her were overwhelming and when she turned to calmly explain the situation to Damien, she broke.
He stood halfway across the room. His expression was halfway between severe and concern. She could see that he wanted to be upset with her, but when she turned and their eyes met, and he saw the sadness that engulfed her, his face softened, and his posturing dropped. In that moment, Damien was her older brother, and she needed him like she never knew that she would.
“He… the Duke and I… we… our relationship…” she stammered as the tears started to fall down her cheeks.
“Oh, Thalia.” Damien swept toward her, arms open wide, and she fell into them without pause.
He held her close. She melded into his body. The sounds that escaped her mouth were horrendous, but that spoke to her misery. She wept on his shoulder, she shook and she trembled, and how glad she was that Damien was there to support her.
“I’m with child,” she managed through tears.
“Does he know?” he asked as he stroked her back.
“No,” she blubbered. “I meant to tell him. I wanted… I will tell him. But Damien, it is not that easy. Caspian and I… we…” She did not know what to say or how to say it.
What is there to say? That I fell in love with Caspian. That he does not love me back. That as wonderful as it is to await a child, it might also be the end of our marriage. How can I tell Damien what I do not even know?
“Please do not tell him,” she wept into his shoulder. “Not yet. Not until… I need time to…”
“There, there…” He continued to stroke her back. “It is not my secret to tell, Thalia, so I will not tell it.”
“Thank you.”
“And you can stay here as long as you need,” he said next. “Anything you need, always.”
There was no need to say anything else. While Damien might not have understood the specifics of what was wrong, he understood that in that moment his sister needed him more than she ever had. And that was enough.
It was a small thing, but it felt good to know that her brother was there for her. Thalia was alone, but she wasn’t as alone as she had believed, and that meant something.
For now, it would have to be enough.
Thalia was sitting in the reading room, pretending to read, when Rosaline and Laurent approached her. She had not told them that she was returning, mostly because she was embarrassed by the fact. She knew they were here, she knew she would have to see them, she just didn’t know what she would say when she did.
It looks as if I am about to find out…
Her book was open on her lap, but as she was not reading it, it took no effort to glance up, see the happy couple approach, and close the book with a soft smile.
They held hands. They stood close. They glanced at one another in a way that spoke to how in love they were. It hurt to see, as it reminded Thalia of her own unrequited feelings. But she was happy for them, and she focused on that.
“I was wondering when you would find out about me,” she said, not standing as they came toward her. As pleased as she was for them, she was still in pain and could not bring herself to commit fully to her happiness. “It is good to see you both.”
