Why am I surprised? This is not what I want. This is not even what he wants. It feels as if we are doing so because we must, not because we should.
Despite her efforts, Thalia’s thoughts went to her parents, and she could not help but think about her mother. She had been in a loveless marriage like this one. Bound to a man who hated her. Tied to a situation that she could not escape. Forced into a world of isolation and loneliness because the one person who was supposed to be there for her refused to so much as acknowledge her existence.
Worst of all, such a mode of living as that, had killed her.
A spike of fear struck Thalia. Fear of the moment. Fear of what was to come. Fear of who she was married to and where her life would lead if she did not do something about it.
Yes, she had made a promise, but that felt irrelevant. And as the Duke continued to awkwardly kiss her, Thalia became determined not to suffer the same fate as her mother had. No matter the const.
“No!” Thalia pulled her lips away, wrenched herself free, and stumbled back across the room. “I cannot… I… I can’t do it.”
“Excuse me?”
Thalia winced and looked at the Duke, which only worked to confirm the validity of what she had just done and why.
He did not look angry. He did not appear embarrassed or even confused. He stood stiffly, his brow slightly furrowed, his expression simple… almost relieved, she thought. But that felt unlikely.
“I am sorry,” she started. “I know that we had a deal. That you and I…” She swallowed. “I know what is expected of me. What you want from me.”
“And what you will give me,” he said. “I ask only one thing.”
“You ask more than you know.”
“Do I?” He took a step toward her. “Producing an heir is –”
“Right there,” she cut him off as she took a step back. “That. Producing an heir! You speak of what we are about to do as if it is a business transaction. As if you are signing your name at the bottom of a contract.”
“Is that not what we are doing?”
Thalia shuddered. “That is not… I do not think I can do this.”
“Thalia.” His voice hardened. “I know that this is overwhelming. That you are scared and a little unsure. But the entire purposeof this marriage is to…” He clicked his tongue. “To have a child together.”
“Which we will do,” she hurried. “I promise. I just need more time.”
“More time? What does that mean?”
Thalia thought quickly, searching for a way that she could get out of this without making it worse. She knew that nothing she said would change the Duke’s mind completely, but if she could delay him, if she could…I don’t even know. Make it so that he and I are not complete strangers? So that I somehow want this… if such things are possible?
“A month,” she said. “Give me one month.”
He sighed. “And what difference will that make?”
“It will make all the difference,” she defended. “I know that you are I… that we have no desire to get to know one another better. That the entire point of us marrying was so that such things would not happen.”
“That’s right.”
“But that does not mean we have to be strangers,” she said with a touch of desperation. “If we take just one month to… to… to get used to each other. That is all. Right now, I hardly know you, and you hardly know me.”
“We do not need to know one another.”
“We do,” she said. “Despite what you might want, the fact is that we are married and will be spending the rest of our lives together. I am not suggesting that we fall in love or try to. I am not even saying that we must like one another.” She laughed awkwardly. “But if we could… know each other a little better, then maybe this will not be so…” She trailed off.
“Awkward?” he offered.
She laughed. “Yes, awkward. We are going to bring a child into the world. Does that child not deserve to have parents who can tolerate one another’s presence? Do they not deserve to be happy?”
“And you think they won’t be?”
