If only she felt something for him… anything at all.
“You are nervous,” he said.
“I…” She swallowed. “Only a little.”
“There is no need to feel that way. What we are about to do is perfectly natural.”
She scoffed. “I am glad you think so.”
He tilted his head as he looked at her. Then, a decision reached, he held out a hand for her to take.
She eyed the hand nervously. He raised an eyebrow at her. She reached up, took the hand, and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet.
Even his hand was too cold. It surprised her, in fact, because she remembered well enough how it had felt when his fingers had brushed her back that time. It had sent a warmth through her body, a tingle across her limbs, and for a few brief seconds Thalia had not been nearly so repulsed by her husband.
She must have worn a look on her face that told her husband what she was thinking…
“I wondered how you would react tonight,” he said, still holding her by the hand. “Especially after the last time.”
“The…” Her words caught in her throat. “The last time?”
“Yes.” Gently, he pulled her toward him. “I confess, it caught me my surprise, as it must have you. At the modiste’s store, as I helped you with your dress.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about…” She looked away as if with shame.
“I was surprised by it.” Still holding her hand, he closed the distance between them. Then, his free hand went to her waist.“As I was surprised by myself, for that matter.” The hand on her waist squeezed and Thalia gasped. “I did not think myself capable of feeling that way in public. Of losing myself as I did.”
“I…” Thalia could hardly concentrate. From his hand on her waist to his other hand that held her own to how close they were suddenly. “You did?”
“As did you, I think.” His voice softened as he looked at her. Still, there was no want in his eyes, no sense of hunger. But his words suggested otherwise. “I felt your reaction to my touch.”
“There was no reaction.”
“Just as I think you felt my own.” He released her hand, moved it up her waist, and rested a finger under her chin. “And that is what you must focus on, if you wish for this to work.”
“Work?”
“Tonight,” he said. “Us.”
She swallowed. And then she swallowed again.
On the surface, the moment should have been near perfect. Alone with her husband, words spoken that would ordinarily evoke arousal, and standing so close with one hand on her waist and the other rested under her chin… Thaliawantedto feel something.
She even cast her mind back to that moment from the modiste. She tried to remember how she had felt when he was behind her, against her, his body pressing on her own. She tried to relive it, to hold onto it, to let it take her.
Frustratingly… there was something missing.
Thalia looked at her husband, searching his eyes for the truth of what he was saying. He spoke the right words, but she could notseetheir effect. He was still so cold, and so distant, as if he was speaking to a wall.
Does he even want me? How could he possibly?
“Now…” He straightened and his expression turned even more serious. She could feel his hand on her waist trembling, just as she could see a sense of nervousness behind his eyes. “It is time that you fulfil your promise…”
The Duke leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It caught Thalia by surprise and she gasped, nearly moved away, but steadied and gave in to the kiss.
She wanted to like it. She wanted tofeelit inside of her. Rosaline had told her what it was like to kiss a man who you had feelings for, how transportive it was, how freeing and relieving, as if his lips had the power to make you float. She tried to feel it in her heart, throughout her body, anywhere she could to make this moment what it needed to be.
Sadly… the kiss was cold and sterile on her lips.
