“Yes, you can. Look at me.”
She did, focusing on his steady eyes while her heart raced.
“Breathe with me.”
They breathed together until the panic eased, leaving her exhausted and embarrassed.
“Amy says it's normal,” she said. “Panic attacks. After being a caretaker.”
“Amy's smart.”
“I hate this. Feeling out of control.”
“You're not out of control. You're adjusting. There's a difference.”
“Everything's falling apart.”
“No. Everything's changing.”
Kate wanted to argue but didn't have the energy. She stood in her mother's garden, holding an antique compass, trying to find her direction while everything shifted around her.
“I should deal with this article crisis,” she said.
“Or you could let your siblings handle it. You don't have to fix everything.”
“I don't know how to not fix everything, or at least try.”
“Learn.”
Simple. Like it was that easy to undo years of being the only one responsible, the only one present, the only one who stayed.
But Ben was still there, patient and solid, and her siblings were inside strategizing. Amy made sure Kate was okay, and even Lillian tried to help in her way.
Maybe she wasn't as alone as she felt.
Maybe that was part of the panic: realizing she could let go a little and things wouldn't immediately collapse.
The compass was cool in her hand, its needle pointing steadily north no matter how she turned it. A fixed point in a world of variables.
“Thank you,” she said. “For the compass.”
“You're welcome.”
She wanted to kiss him then, standing in her mother's garden with crisis swirling around them. But that was another change she wasn't ready for, another letting go she couldn't quite manage.
CHAPTER 22
Kate's phone started ringing at eight-fifteen the next morning and didn't stop. The article had gone viral overnight, picked up by travel blogs and hospitality industry newsletters. She sat at the front desk, fielding cancellations.
“Yes, Mrs. Merrick, I understand your concerns... No, the inn is not closing... Yes, we still have full service...” She listened to the fifth cancellation of the morning while pulling up the reservation system on the ancient computer. “Of course we'll refund your deposit.”
Dani appeared with coffee and the reservation book. “How bad?”
“Three wedding venue inquiries withdrawn, four room cancellations for next month, and...” Kate's email pinged. “The Gardiner anniversary party just canceled. That's forty guests for dinner.”
“Can we survive this?”
Kate pulled up the spreadsheet she'd been maintaining for years. Even with Lillian's money covering the mortgage, they needed consistent occupancy to cover operations. “We have thirty days of operating capital without new bookings.Maybe forty-five if I cancel the linen service and we do laundry ourselves.”
