“Not practicing anymore, no, but I’d be willing to bet she’ll see you. She does have a degree in counseling, and I know she stays up to date on everything.”
“Huh, I didn’t know that either,” Lorelei chimes in. “Cool. She’d be perfect, Lucy. You both are already acquainted.”
“Can I promise to think it over?”
“Absolutely,” Hadley says while Lorelei nods her head.
“So, Hadley. You’ll be birthing a human next month. How are you feeling? I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you as much as Ishould have been.” I stroke her hair, knowing there’s no use in swimming in guilt over it. What’s done is done. I can only do better moving forward. Confessing to them was like releasing the valve on a pressure cooker, and I kind of wish I would have done it sooner.
These are my girls. My people. I love them, and I need to allow them to love me.
“I’m scared, not going to lie, but the Lord has been good to me, reaffirming that I’m going to be a good mom. Even when I make mistakes, I’ll still be a good mom. Braxton says that if I don’t believe it then to leave it up to him to make me believe it.”
“That’s our Braxton.” I laugh then shift my focus to my twin. “Are you ready for your wedding night?”
Lorelei’s face doesn’t flush red, even as Hadley begins to tease her. Instead, her brow creases as if she’s in deep thought. “I’m nervous. I’m scared I won’t be able to do it, you know? Because of my aversion to touch. It’s still sometimes hard to kiss him even though I love it with my entire soul.”
Hadley and I exchange a look before bursting out laughing. “You’re sounding like me, Lor. Talking souls and such.”
My sister mocks a laugh but shakes her head as if she’s over us.
Hadley chimes in. “Finley loves you so much. He will wait as long as you need him to. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Lorelei smiles. “I know. He’s kind of the best, right?”
We all nod in agreement because let’s be honest, Finley Andersson is a gem.
The scent of my dark blend coffee refreshes my tired soul.
Brandi’s confirmation text stares at me from my phone while Loneliness haunts me from the corner of the room. The beach was everything I needed with the people I needed it with, but now it’s Monday, and everyone has gone back to their real lives.
On the bookshelf, stuffed underneath a stack of Lorelei’s nonfiction books she left for me to read, is the corner of a pink composition notebook.
Stone’s story.
It taunts me, begging me to pick it up and devour the contents.
Am I ready? Ready to see our time together through his eyes?
If I do, it will cut open the measly stitches I’ve threaded over my wounds. If I don’t, I’ll never know if what he was telling me outside my door that day he came over and gave me the journal is true or not.
Knowing I’ve made my decision by the simple fact that the book is still in the house and not in a dumpster somewhere, I get up from my recliner and snatch it before plopping back down. Frannie hops in my lap as if to be my emotional support animal for the duration of reading, and I stroke her mindlessly with one hand as I flip open the notebook with the other.
Chapter 22
Stone
“No Mississippi town does Christmas quite like Dasher Valley. And what a privilege it is to have a part of the Christmas festival hosted in the new Dasher Valley Community Center. Thank you all for coming out today, and don’t forget to stop by the kitchen for a bowl of Mrs. Phyllis’s Pineapple Jambalaya. Remember all proceeds go to support Hannah’s Hope.”
As the gathered crowd applauds, I exit from the front of the newly constructed gym and make my way to my family standing off in the corner. Mom embraces me. “I’m proud of you, son.”
“I’m glad this place gives him a good reason to come home more often,” Stella remarks. “But now I actually need to step away and go bug my constituents.”
“Bye, Seester.” I grin at the new District Four Mississippi State Representative as she grabs Gracie’s hand and darts off towards a group of older folks gathered around and watching the Ring Rudy the Reindeer game. Seems President Marshall’s endorsement ofher really paid off and persuaded the people of District Four to vote for an Independent.
Jared’s holding their son, Abram, while Lucas is chatting with Brother Johnny, and Mom is still looking at me like I'm the greatest thing in the world. And even in the midst of this sweet moment, a certain hollowness settles within my soul.
It’s not because I’m without Jesus anymore. Though I still miss days and struggle, my prayer life is stronger than ever and I’m crawling through the New Testament, soaking in every word as if I’ve never read it before. Surrendering is hard work, but the peace and fullness that accompanies it is indescribable. Something you just have to experience for yourself.
