Little Lion:Don’t do this to me, Stone…
Two hours later…
Little Lion:You’re probably just busy and I’m acting like a deranged girlfriend. I’m sorry. But do please message me to set the record straight when you see this.
Releasing a long breath, I begin to type a reply.
Me:Hey, I’m sorry. I haven’t really been on my phone all day between church, a family lunch, and then doing some field work with Lucas and Jared. Everything is fine, and we are good. You haven’t done anything wrong, I just haven’t been around my phone. I’m sorry.
I know deep down that the message doesn’t justify anything. Any person in their right mind would feel jaded and dismissed after going all day without so much as a “hey” from the person they care about. I have so much to process and work through. The last thing I want to do is hurt her.
You’re going to hurt her, anyway, Pebbles.I roll my eyes. Great. Now my own consciousness is using the same nickname she does when she’s perturbed with me.
EvenI’mapprehensive of myself.
My phone vibrates in my hand as we pull up to Lucas’s house where I left my bike.
Little Lion:I’m glad you’re okay! And all is well. Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate it. Did your field work go well?
I’m not in the right headspace to speak with her right now due to all the up-in-the-air thoughts racing through my brain, so I ignore her and tell myself I’ll message her back when I’m back at Mom’s and in bed.
Except when I drift off into a fitful sleep, I remember I never messaged back.
And while it rips me apart that I can’t seem to do it, I push the feelings down and fade into blackness.
Chapter 17
Lucy
Istare at my phone while my computer boots up as I sit in my office chair at work.
Me:I’m glad you’re okay! And all is well. Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate it. Did your field work go well?
It’s been opened. Read. I wonder if he even realizes he has his read receipts on?
He never responded, and while I wanted to cry over it to release the whirlwind of negative emotions consuming me throughout the night, I couldn’t bring myself to shed a single tear. Instead, I screamed in the shower. I screamed at God for allowing Friday night to happen. I screamed at myself for being so blindly stupid that I let Stone’s flattering words impact me.
He never said he loved me back.
That was the big red stop sign that should have ended everything.
But instead, I gaslit myself into believing that ‘you frustrate me’ phrase meant the same thing.
It obviously didn’t.
If I was the heroine of a rom-com right now, he would be bursting into this office with flowers and chocolates, telling me he’s sorry for running away after Friday night.
But as time ticks by and my message remains unanswered, I’m positive I’ve been mistakenly placed in a women’s fiction novel without an HEA.
A message pops up on my phone, and my heartbeat quickens, but my shoulders slump when I realize it’s just my sister. She’s asking me if I’m bringing Stone to the wedding and coronation in a couple of months, and right now, I have no idea.
So I text back saying that I don’t know. We will see how things work out.
The desire to text Stone torments me. To try and call him. To call a news media site and tell them to report I’m going to jump off the water tower to see if that will get him to message me back. I’m a lunatic, but this feeling to get his attention, to make him see me, is a force to be reckoned with and a second by second fight not to act upon it.
My phone rings, and it’s Grandma Netty calling.
Guess I’m popular with everyone this morning except for my boyfriend who ran away from me under the excuse of a family emergency. Yeah, I know that was a lie. I text with his sister, after all.
