“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing with women?” Jared retorts, lifting his brows.
“It’s not the same,” I defend. “All the women I’ve been with or have dated short-term knew that’s what I was doing. Lucy knew this was all fake. It’s what we agreed upon. And then when it became real, I tried. I opened up some to her. I really tried. But then she went and fell in love with me, and I’m just not ready.”
“No, you are. You fell in love with her. You just won’t admit it,” Lucas adds sardonically.
I glare at him with a look that would set fire to the field right now.
“I am not in love with her. I care about her and respect her, but I don’t love her.” How can I possibly love her if I have sex with her after she tells me she loves me when I know I can’t say it back?
Jared clicks his tongue then knocks me on the back of the head. I shoot to my feet, prepared to hit him back, but as he stands, I remember he’s a walking one-man army and opt to sneer at him instead.
“You’re a fool, Stone. Caring about a woman and respecting her are the primary ways we men show love. You’ve watched me and your brother fall in love with our wives. You know what it looks like. And if you care for and respect her so much, why didn’t you keep it in your pants?”
And with that comment—the very thing I currently hate myself for—I do swing on him, but he catches my fist and twists my arm until I tap out.
“Chill out, dude. Let’s be real, okay? You’ve already told us everything, so now it’s time you listen to what we have to say without getting angry or offended. We care about you and want to see you happy,” Jared yells before he releases my fist. I shake out my arm while rubbing my wrists as Lucas begins to speak, both men now flanking my sides as we stand on the bleachers.
“You should really listen to Jared. He smacked sense into me when it came to your sister. There’s a wise man underneath that muscle.”
Jared scoffs and folds his arms, which hopefully means there will be no more smacking.
After a minute of silence passes, I realize they are both waiting on me to say something. “I know I shouldn’t have slept with her after she told me she loved me. Guilt has been eating me alive since it happened, and I know I need to tell her that we can’t be together,but she just looked so happy the next morning. I hadn’t seen her look that light in such a long time. How can I take that from her?”
“Bingo,” Jared says at the same time Lucas replies with, “You love her.”
Right as I open my mouth to protest, Lucas cuts me off. “You love her at least in some capacity. While I can’t tell you that it’s in a ‘you want to marry her’ type of way, though I’d venture to say it is, what you feel for her as shown by your stupid actions and thoughts is love. The fact you don’t feel worthy of her and you want her to be happy is love. Now the question remains: Are you going to do what it takes and put in the work to be worthy of her or not?”
Chewing on his words while picking at my fingernails, I can’t deny what he’s saying. I care about her. I respect her, even if I didn’t show it by hopping into bed with her after she confessed. The guilt that clawed at my throat was like none other. I’m usually only a smidge guilty when I sleep with a woman. With Lucy… how could I do that to her? She’s precious and kind and understanding and patient, and I—
Do I—
Do I love her?
“I’ll think about what you’ve both said. But for now, I think I need time to process in quiet. Let's resume some field work.”
They both agree, and I head to the fieldhouse to work on moving soccer equipment in and the football equipment out.
When we finish for the day, I realize I had left my phone in Lucas’s truck, so I start checking messages, most of which seem to be from Lucy.
Little Lion:Good morning :)
Little Lion:Hope you have a productive day. I’m going to take this time to get some work done on the business side of authoring.
Three hours later…
Little Lion:Afternoon! Hope all is well and hope to hear from you soon.
An hour later…
Missed call from Little Lion.
Little Lion:Stone? You good? I’m kind of worried about you.
Forty-five minutes later…
Little Lion:Are you upset with me? Did I do something wrong?
Little Lion:Please don’t tell me you’re bailing out on me after I told you I loved you…
