“In fact, it’s because of your history that you are the bright, intelligent, hardworking, sweet, trustworthy, and passionate woman that you are today. Don’t let the rotting corpses of the past steal the liveliness of your present.”
Her shoulders move up and down, and I swear I hear a sniffle, but she still doesn’t respond or make any motion to face me.
I continue to face her and close my eyes. Right as I am drifting off to sleep, I hear through her muffled cries, “But she died because of me.”
Halfway out of consciousness, I tug Hayden to my chest and hold her close as I fall asleep, hoping she can feel how much she means to me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Hayden
Istare at my reflection in the mirror, and memories from last night come rushing back. The kind words he said to me as I pretended to sleep while tears ran down my cheeks at the thought of that long ago night where I watched a young girl die because of me. The way Darcy held me close felt like I was wrapped in a never-ending warm hug.
Memories resurface of not too long ago: waking up with his arms still wrapped around me, the way his face was centimeters from my own. He was the first thing I saw this morning, and I loved the sight of his tousled hair, relaxed features, and steady breaths more than I should have.
I pin a loose curl back into my bun before smoothing down my peplum shirt and exiting the bathroom of the campaign headquarters in Mississippi.
“Hey, bestie.” Stella bounces to my side. “Did you have a good night in your weed-free hotel room? And are you reliving it? Because you have a wondrous blush tinting your face.”
I cut my eyes to Stella, but I can’t lie to her.
“We cuddled, and he said sweet things.”
“Ugh, way to leave a woman wanting more,” she jests. But then her tone grows serious. “I’m so glad the two of you are like a real thing now.”
I can’t fight the grin. “Me too.” But then that malicious voice pops in my head, telling me I’m not enough for him.
“Stella.” I grab Stella’s arm and drag her outside the Jackson Campaign Headquarters. “Stella, I don’t know how to tell him abouther.”
She knits her brown brows together. “Why don’t you just start with the truth of that night? That it was not your fault.”
Guilt consumes me regardless of her words, and my legs wobble. Stella catches me before I completely collapse to the ground.
She holds me tight. “You did not kill that girl, Hayden. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t put the needle in her hand. You didn’t tell her to inject herself.”
Tears burst through my eyes as I lose all composure. “She died in front of me. I didn’t do anything to help her. I distracted the man she was with. If I hadn’t distracted the man and caused him to chase after me, she would have been okay. He would have been watching her and would have stopped her. I could have stopped her. I ran away.”
Stella ushers me somewhere, but I can’t see anything through the onslaught of tears. The heat dissipates, so I assume we are back inside. She ushers me down into a chair, and I rest my elbows on my knees and let my head fall into my open hands.
“I saw reporters,” she says swiftly. “Now, look at me.”
After a moment, I look up.
“You were a child. Only nine years old.” Stella cups my face. “It’s not the duty of a child to save the world from darkness. We’ve been over this, H.”
“I know.” I sniffle. “But the possibility of something real with Darcy? It scares me, Stella. I want it…” sniffle, “so bad. But it scares me. Once he knows what happened, will he look at me the same way anymore?”
“You’re the only one who looks at you differently.”
“But—”
“No more ‘buts’, Hayden.” Stella pulls me to my feet. “Don’t be scared. He will not look at you any differently.” I wipe tears from my eyes. “What if he tells the world? What if I’m barred from ever becoming Secretary of State like I want?”
“Do you really think he is that kind of person?”
No.“I don’t know.”
Stella sighs, and I refuse to meet her eyes.
