“It’s me, Divine Princess. Just getting ready for bed.”
“What time is it?” Her sleepy voice has me going weak for some reason. No, it must just be the after-effect from touching her lipsand reliving that kiss over and over all throughout dinner with the governor.
“It’s midnight.” My voice is deep and gruff. I’ve got to shove away the thought of kissing her. Especially since I’m going to crawl into this bed with her shortly and we aren’t ready forthat. She needs to know the truth about my past and accept me before I can gotherewith her. Because if she rejects me afterthat, I might die.
“Glad you’re back safely.” She yawns. “How was the meeting?”
“Close your eyes or look away.” Hayden looks at me first—why do people do that?—but then turns to face the opposite side of the room. I unbutton my shirt and take it off, tossing it over the sofa chair. “He invited other state officials, so it went longer than planned, but overall, it was productive.”
“Hmm.” She already sounds like she’s headed for sleep.
I finish tugging my pants off and quickly change into pajama pants and a t-shirt. “I’m decent.” She turns around to face me again, and I’m awestruck by the gorgeous woman highlighted by the moon. But I’ll never sleep if there’s light in here. “Do you mind if I shut the curtains? I have a difficult time sleeping if it’s not pitch black.”
She nods her head, and I walk around the bed to pull the curtains closed then slide into bed, extra careful not to take down the pillows between us because as much as I want to hold her in my arms, that’s a dangerous game to play while her kiss replays on a loop. It’s a snug fit, but I’ll manage.
“Darcy?”
The way she says my name…
I clench my fists and close my eyes before answering. “Yes?”
She swallows. “What if, for tonight only, we did what real married couples do?”
My eyes fly open as heat pools in my stomach, my body desiring hers but my mind knowing it’s not time. “You want to do what?”
Hayden bolts upward and waves her hand. “No. NO! I didn’t mean—notthat.Gosh, no, Killjoy. I just meant… forget it.” She collapses back down to the bed with a grunt, then grabs a pillow and holds it over her face.
I sit down on the side of the bed and take the pillow from her. Curiosity gets the best of me, and while my heart rate works on slowing from my initial perception—which scared me and excited me all at once—I ask her, “What did you mean?”
She groans in embarrassment and wrestles the pillow away from me. She shoves it back over her face, then says something that comes across as mumbles.
“I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
Hayden removes the pillow then sighs. “I was wondering if we could cuddle tonight. I think I would sleep better knowing I wasn’t alone in this hotel room. It’s a logical next step when dating your spouse, right?”
“I’m right here. You’re not alone.”
She sighs again. “I know. It’s different to feel you, though.”
I desperately want to throw these pillows between us to high-heaven, but Hayden and I can’t risk slipping up even though we’re married. Not if there is still the question of her leaving after I tell her about my past.
But there’s something else, too.
And it’s embarrassing.
“Yes, it’s a good next step, but, I, um—”
“Forget it,” she interrupts.
“No. It’s just that,” I take a deep breath, preparing for the awkwardness of my next statement. “I’ve never cuddled with anyone before.”
She sits up, and I assume she’s looking at me, but I can’t see anything in this blackness. “Wait, really?”
I let out my breath. “Besides with my mother when I was young, no.”
“Have you ever been romantically involved with another woman at all?”
“I was engaged to Priscilla.” I run my hand through my hair. “We held hands. Kissed on the cheek and small kisses on the lips. But we never cuddled, or kissed deeper, or slept in the same bed.”
