Her head was spinning, and it suddenly felt hard to breathe. She felt unsteady on her feet.
“Please, Miss Fairchild …” he murmured, reaching out but not touching her. “Isolde …” he whispered beseechingly. “I must tell you; I must explain. I need you to know –”
A cry from the bedroom interrupted them – her father, calling out in his sleep. Isolde looked to the door, and he called out again. She should go to him. It was her duty, as always.
She looked back at Thaddeus, whose hand was still reaching for her. She didn’t want to go to her father. She wanted to take Thaddeus’s hand. But she was terrified of falling, and him not catching her. Hadn’t she learned long before this, that no one would catch her?
It was all too much, had been too much, for too long.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, taking another step back, her hand finding the doorknob behind her. “My father’s calling. I must go.”
She opened the door and stepped through, closing it hastily behind her. On instinct she went toward the bed, but it felt asthough she had left her heart in the hallway, and though her cheeks burned at her own cowardice, she could not convince herself to go back for it.
Chapter 26
Thaddeus paced around his room, furious with himself. He had come so close to telling Isolde the truth, yet he still hadn’t managed it.
And of course, it was terrible timing, with her father’s illness, but he couldn’t help chastising himself for all the times in the past he could have told her and didn’t. He should have told her as soon as he’d realized.
He should have sent the letter or told her that night when she’d kissed him up on his return. He should have picked a better spot than the orangery, somewhere they’d have been sure not to be disturbed. He should have called after her that night when she left his room, not waiting for her to come back.
He could not stand still, and the more he paced, the more his irritation grew – so it was particularly bad timing when he answered the knock on his door and Cassian pushed his way into the room.
“Harrow, forgive me – I know the timing is bad, but we must talk. You’ve been playing games with Vivienne, and I’ve had enough.”
Thaddeus stared at his friend, mouth open in shock.He’dbeen playing games withVivienne?
“I beg your pardon?” he snapped.
“I’ve just left her. She came to me in tears, wondering why you would lead her on only to keep shoving her aside.”
Thaddeus bristled.
“I’ve done nothing of the sort.”
“She says you have. That you are always looking at her and flirting with her, and yet you will suddenly grow cold and not want anything to do with her. Why, just earlier tonight you asked her to dance and then left her, partnerless, in the middle of the ballroom.”
Thaddeus could hardly believe his ears. Did Cassian really not remember that it had been his suggestion that Thaddeus dance with Vivienne? And surely he could not be blamed for going after his own fiancée?
“You must either stop this, or you must step up and take accountability for your actions,” Cassian continued. “I won’thave her reputation ruined by some frivolous dalliance in the gardens with you.”
“And how,” Thaddeus asked, getting angrier, “do you propose Itake accountabilityfor my actions?”
Cassian looked at him as though he was very dense.
“Break your fake engagement and make a proper proposal to Vivienne, of course.”
Thaddeus glowered at Cassian.
“That won’t be happening,” he said. “First of all, I have not led your cousin on in the slightest. I’ve given her the minimum politeness demanded by common courtesy, which she has taken full advantage of at every turn. I have struggled, in fact, to avoid her advances without breaching decorum. Second, as you well know, or at least you should if you are truly my friend, my feelings for Miss Fairchild have been complicated from the start. I have tried multiple times to speak with you on them – in fact, I would have loved to get your advice. But you are only ever thinking of yourself, it seems.”
Thaddeus ended his tirade by turning away from Cassian to glare out the window instead. He heard Cassian huff out a sigh.
“What a waste of time,” Cassian muttered under his breath. Thaddeus felt a chill go down his spine, and he turned slowly back to his friend.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked, throat suddenly tight. Cassian snapped his eyes to Thaddeus, suddenly looking nervous.
“By what?” he asked.
