Lothar then got out from the carriage and moved closer to the house in the dark. He looked out for guards and a place he might make it over the wall. Just as it seemed he would becaught or that the walls were impossible to climb, he saw an opening. There was a corner of the wall that seemed to have crumbled away slightly.
Lothar looked up at it and then moved back slightly to give himself room to run up to the wall and jump up to hang onto the top of the wall so that he may climb up. Lothar gripped onto the crumbling wall and got dust in his eyes. He clambered up the wall and over to the other side. Barely being able to see, he fell to the ground with a hardthump.
Lothar moved around until he knew where he was. He made his way to the main house undetected and was on his way to climb the stairs that led into the entrance hall when the doors were shut. Lothar would have to find a way to ensure Gemma was safe.
If only I could see her for a moment.Lothar thought as he moved closer. Then he saw her. As he moved around the house from one side to the other house, he looked up to see the light burn in one of the upper rooms. Lothar looked up to see Gemma looking out from the window. He moved back to try to get a better look at her. His heart sank when she seemed to look saddened.
He wanted to speak to her. To tell her that he was sorry and to find out what had really happened between her and the gentleman, if he could be called that. He watched for a while longer and then let her have her privacy. He had made sure she was safe and now he could return home until he could see her again.
Chapter 23
Gemma had been miserable since Lothar had left three days earlier. She had needed him then to protect her and to understand what had truly happened. He had immediately turned on her and assumed she had been seeing this man behind his back. She had given him every consideration before she had thought the worst of him. It seemed he did not hold her in equal esteem.
He wants me to have faith in him and to believe he no longer cares for Henny. When he sees me with another man, he immediately thinks the worst of me!Gemma thought with a mixture of doubt and anger.
Despite those feelings there was one feeling that was more prevalent, she missed him though it was more than that. She had not seen many of her friends and family for years now and would not be as happy to see them as she would be seeing Lothar.
Gemma had tried to be patient and had waited for Lothar to come back. She did not know what else she could do but hope.
Had my family scared him so badly that he did not want to have anything to do with me? Gemma thought as she once again took an early morning walk. The trees had started to turn from green to orange and now yellow at a frightening pace.
The once pleasant and balmy mornings had an icy wind and brought frost to the fields. Gemma could not out onto the fields without thinking of Lothar. She had felt so welcomed and enchanted by Lothar’s home that she had fallen in love with it almost as quickly as she had Lothar.
Have I fallen for him? Is this love or will it break my heart the way it did when Edward had broken it. No, if Lothar rejects me outright then it will hurt so much more! Her mind kept her honest. It already hurt that I have not seen him in almost three days, how will I make it without him for the rest of my days? If only he would come back and talk about all this.
Gemma dressed warmly and decided to brave the cold. It may even distract me away from how much my heart aches. Gemma thought as she added layer upon layer of clothing in order to feel more comfortable. Gemma set out from the house when she heard her mother’s voice.
“Good morning, dear. How did you sleep?” Her mother asked.
“Good morning, mother. I must say that I have had better sleep and could use more.” Gemma replied.
“As I suspected, my dear. You need to get away for a while, we all do. We have had quite the exhausting summer and Autumn. Then the winter is creeping closer at an alarming rate and as you know I find the season to be repulsive.” Her motherrambled as Gemma started to walk in the same direction she did every morning. The icy wind blew past and made known that the clothing Gemma had selected would not be warm enough for this walk.
“I would not go too far, dear. Your father wishes to leave soon after breakfast.” Her mother said slightly behind her. She knew her mother had trouble with her legs especially during the cold months.
She just held hope that her mother would join her on her walks as she had in the past. They had been able to speak to one another for hours. Since Gemma had failed her two seasons and had not secured marriage, Gemma had felt a gap form between them. As time had gone by these last couple of years, the gap had become a clear distance between them.
Why are you so cold to me for the sole reason that I do not have a husband? Gemma thought but dared not utter the words.
“Where is father leaving for?” Gemma asked.
“All of us, dear. We are going on our usual trip we take in winter. As you know I dislike the cold and despise snow even more. “Her mother said in a way that meant her dislike explained their entire family going on a vacation to a warmer climate every year. Gemma did not ever complain though the timing did seem rather close to the time they all decided Lothar was not good enough for her.
“How can you like Lothar so much and then when great-grandmother arrives you completely change your opinion mother?” Gemma found herself speaking the words she thought she had kept to herself. She felt so consumed by the pain love had caused her that she could not handle her mother’s usual coldness with her usual calmness.
“Gemma, that is because I have failed you. I should have seen that the duke was not the right match for you and have taken better care of you.” Her mother replied with more emotion than she had seen in months, if not longer.
“Mother you take very good care of me, but I am no longer a little girl. You must let me form my own decisions about my life, including my love life.” Gemma said and felt like embracing her mother. She held back knowing she would dislike being pitied.
“You cannot enter into a marriage where you are already second best, my dear. You are loved and you have a home that is always open to you. You do not need to be married.” Her mother said the words she thought she would never hear.
“Since when mother?” Gemma asked and felt her chest tighten as all the pent-up emotion within her threatened to crush her lungs.
“Since always, dear. Your father and I have ensured that you were raised in a fashion that you would be able to look afterour family home. More importantly, that you would not have need of anyone,” her mother replied.
“That is not the impression I got mother.” Gemma said.
“How do you mean, dear?” Her mother asked looking genuinely perplexed.
