“I am so pleased you feel that way. Your mother has accepted an invitation to tea in three days on behalf of her and yourself,” her grandmother said and looked expectant.
“We have only started seeing each other,” Gemma replied.
“You could do a lot worse than a duke, dear,” her grandmother replied.
“It does not matter what his title is, Grandmama. I know father wants us to be settled but I am not sure we make such a good match,” Gemma said as she sat down on a nearby chair.
“Marriage is not an easy undertaking, but it is one worthy of doing. The way you care for those children, you will make a good mother. How did Lothar handle being around the children?” her grandmother asked.
“He did really well. Many men feel out of place, but then he does have two sisters,” Gemma replied, smiling as she remembered his taking interest in Harvey.
“You both like children and enjoy chess. He also does not seem like an unpleasant man,” her grandmother offered.
“I do admit that I find him interesting, and very handsome, Grandmama,” Gemma said with a small smile.
“Then why are you so unsure?” her grandmother asked.
Gemma sighed. Perhaps it would be useful to tell her grandmother about her hesitancy.
“When we went to town, Ashley and I, we encountered him in the haberdashery, holding another woman’s hand. Now to be fair, it did look like the women had fainted, or pretended to at least.” Gemma explained what she’d seen. She knew her grandmother would keep what they spoke about solely between the two of them.
“Then he had only been there to help,” her grandmother said.
“Mrs. Baker had said that he had lost his heart to a woman long ago. He seemed attentive towards her. I think she was the woman Mrs. Baker was referring to.” Gemma tried to keep the disappointment from her voice.
“You do not know for certain that woman was the same woman Mrs. Baker spoke of. Besides she is given to making more of a story then there is,” her grandmother said.
“Perhaps Grandmama. Lothar and I spoke after I had seen him. He had admitted that he had once been held affections for the woman, Baroness Whitcombe,” Gemma admitted.
“He was honest with you, dear,” her grandmother replied.
“It’s just that, well, I want a husband who will love me, Grandmama,” Gemma said.
“Love can grow with time,” her grandmother said gently.
“Not if it is planted in another’s garden.” Gemma shook her head.
“He will have to choose. Though many men today have a few women they are with,” her grandmother said.
“I cannot abide by that, Grandmama.”
“You also have a choice to make, my dear. You may have to choose to be with a husband who may not love you but who is good for your family,” her grandmother said.
“I know to marry him would give our family the title my father wants. But Grandmama, I feel as though I am being purchased and not courted,” Gemma bemoaned.
“I thought his dinner idea was lovely. He is a romantic,” her grandmother said.
“It was a lovely gesture,” Gemma replied. “Perhaps it is so important for him to get money to help his estate that he would even marry a woman he does not care about.” Gemma tried not to sound as bitter as she felt.
“As it is an arranged marriage then there is little need to do such things at all. The fact that Lothar made an effort to be with your family showed that he does care about you. About how you feel,” her grandmother reminded her.
“That may be true Grandmama. I fear what I would have to give up, who I would have to be, to be married to a duke. He will not allow his sister to publish her writing yet says that I can still write. Is he lying or am I being told I will not be as important? It does not seem to makesense.” Gemma was happy to finally unburden her feelings. She had held onto her fears and questions, not wanting to burden her family. Yet as she spoke with her grandmother, she was reminded of the comfort and solace family offered.
“My dear girl. Perhaps it would be better if you thought about what you gained instead of what you stand to lose. Having an idea of the type of husband you want is one thing. But denying yourself the pleasure of starting your life as a woman and a mother, it is senseless.”
Her grandmother leaned forward to whisper the next part in her ear.
“Your grandfather was anything but my idea of an ideal match. I hardly wanted to sit in the same room as the man. And look at us now. Almost sixty years later and he is still the man I love.”
