“Yeah, even Spence.” Yep, everyone but my petrified-wood-for-a-heart father.
I sat on the couch, leaving a space between us. “I’m fine.” Jack’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously. I’ve been relaxing and considering a tripto Italy.” Argh, why did my brain go there? I was just making shit up to get him off my back, but at the reminder of what I’d lost, my heart spasmed. I shouldn’t miss Faith—she betrayed me, and her feelings were a lie—but I’d fallen for her, and my heart didn’t care what the truth was. It couldn’t change its mind so quickly. My father was right—I was a fool.
“Iffinemeans you’re barely living, have shut yourself off from everyone, and are depressed, then fine it is. Sure thing.”
I ignored his sarcasm. “Glad you understand. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some stuff to do.” I got up.
He stood and got into my personal space. “Stop with the act. You’ve lost your job and the woman you love. You’re not supposed to be okay, dude. It’s okay to not be okay. Now, if you’d just get past the denial part, I could help you fix it.”
The woman you love. Did I?Nope. Not going to admit it.It was too late, and it didn’t matter now. “I don’t love her. She lied to me. Everything was bullshit.”
“Aunt Steph told me everything this morning. She called Faith yesterday to find out exactly what went down at the meeting. Dad and bitchy Victoria exaggerated. Surely you can see that. I saw you two together, and she wasn’t pretending. Her feelings for you were real, man. She lied by omission about having dated that dweeb Mark while working for him, but that’s it. Do you want to know why she lied?”
“No.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you asked. She needed a job. Look at the facts. She has no money. She worked for Piranha and was fired, and they refused to give her a reference. Mark was cheating on her with the owner of the company. Faith caught them at it and was fired on the spot. How was she supposed to get any decent marketing job without being able to provide a reference for somewhere she worked for the last two years? Also, look at how everyone reacted to her having dated her previous boss. If I wereher, I wouldn’t have told anyone either.” He put a hand on my shoulder. “Besides, we all make mistakes. And Iknowyou’re not going to compare her to Monica.”
Fuck.There went my brother, being all sensible and shit. Still, I was right to protect myself. “She’ll get over it. I’ll get over it. We can all move on.” Next century possibly.
“Why are you such a stubborn moron? This is your chance. If you don’t try and get her back, you’re even dumber than Dad thinks. If you think you’re miserable now, just wait until a couple of years down the track when you hear about Faith being married and having children with someone else. How are you going to feel then, huh?”
Why couldn’t he just shut up and leave me to wallow?
As much as I wanted to ignore what he said, a bottomless pit opened up at the thought of Faith married to someone else, having a life that didn’t include me.
I shrugged Jack’s hand off and went to my thinking spot at the window. The rain had eased, the wet landscape silvered and sparkling in the brave rays piercing the clouds. Faith was like those rays—she’d broken through my barriers and shone light on my heart, defrosting it after so many years. I never thought I’d love again after Monica.
We met in an economics class and started dating toward the end of college. I fell fast and hard. Which is why I got her a job at Knight Advertising after she hinted she’d love a job there. But within six months, she was cheating on me with the VP of accounting. Monica had made a few friends at work, and Aunt Steph overheard her telling one of them about the affair and that when she was finished with him, she was going to go after my father. At that point, my aunt stepped in and fired her. She had the job of telling me. When I confronted Monica, she didn’t care. It was the first time I’d had my heart broken, and I swore it would be the last. My father said it was a lesson for me. God forbade heshowed any sympathy. Even though I heeded his warning, Monica wasn’t the last to date me to get ahead—whether it was for work, for a free dinner at a three-star Michelin restaurant to impress their friends, or for likes on socials, it was all the same. I just never fell in love again.
A throbbing ache replaced the hollow behind my ribs, and I hung my head as realization came crashing in.
As much as I wanted to be my own man, I’d still been yearning for my father’s praise and respect. I’d taken his word over Faith’s. What a moron I was. My father called me a fool, and I was, but not for the reasons he thought.
When my father accused her of being a gold digger, liar, and being beneath me, she’d looked angry until I didn’t fight for her. When I questioned and rejected her, she’d been crushed. It was in her eyes—the pain, the devastation, the “how could you?”
I’d done that to her. Not my father, not Victoria. Me. That guilt was its own special horror.
If I’d stuck up for her, taken her hand, and left with her, we’d both be happier now, even if I had no job. If she’d been the spy my father said she was, the Ranger Foods account we’d been working on together would already be in Piranha’s hands. But it wasn’t. I knew that because Marvin Black offered it to Knight Advertising. The contracts were being drawn up right now. Like a coward, and still wanting to please my father, I’d kept quiet to Marvin about losing my CEO position in case it compromised the acquisition. But wasn’t that me doing the same thing Faith had done?
It was wrong. And my father didn’t deserve that account.Ididn’t deserve that account.
Why hadn’t I given Faith a chance to explain? Why hadn’t I listened to her? Deep down, I’d known she wouldn’t betray me, but I let the anger and disappointment I felt toward my father take over. It had seemed like everyone was against me. But Faith never was.
Fuck me, but I was as stupid as my brother said. I winced.
My brother’s hand landed on my shoulder again, his fingers gently squeezing, then releasing. “The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”
I looked into his eyes, unashamed of the tears that must be obvious in mine. “I fucked up. Big time. How is she? Did Stephanie tell you?” Letting the feelings in was a huge mistake. It was as if a panther had clawed my heart and innards to shreds. I looked down, expecting to see blood and guts, but there were only my blue-and-white-striped pajamas. Yep, I’d been living in them the past few days. My father would be mortified, but fuck him. At this point, I was going to start doing things just to piss him off. God knew that doing my best for him hadn’t worked.
“She didn’t say, and I didn’t ask. If you want to know, man up and go ask her yourself.”
“Yeah, right. Just go over there and say hi. She’s not going to answer the door when she knows it’s me. Besides, I don’t deserve her after what I did.” Asking her to forgive me wasn’t fair to her. She was better off without me.
“Yes, because not fighting for the woman you love is a sure way to get her back, whether you deserve her or not. Stop being a coward. Also, do you want me to grab a cake and some balloons for your pity party?”
My heart missed a beat, then raced. Love? Did I?
The moment Jack realized what I was processing, he laughed. “Seriously. You didn’t know? It was so obvious. The way you were with her. I’ve never seen you so sappy with any woman, not even Monica. The way you looked at Faith, it was kind of pathetic.” He grinned, knowing he was winding me up. “But seriously, you guys were good together. What you had with Monica was puppy love, but what you had with Faith was real. Ally and I were happy for you. We also appreciated that the pressure would be off us to have the first grandchildren. You know what Mom’s like.” He chuckled.
