Now I need to mean it.
"Okay." I step back. My eyes burn but I won't let the tears fall. Not yet. "Then there's nothing left to say."
I turn to leave. Make it three steps before his voice stops me.
"Wait."
I pause. I don't turn around. I can't look at him and hold myself together.
"Lucy, please. Just wait."
The desperation in his voice pulls me back. I face him. He's standing now, skates abandoned on the bench. His hands are at his sides, fingers curled into fists.
"I'm terrified," he says. The admission comes out raw. "Terrified of hurting you. Of being like my dad. Of building something that matters and watching it fall apart because I don't know how to stay."
"You're not your father." My voice is steadier than I feel. "You get to choose who you are. Every day, you get to choose."
"I know." He takes a step towards me. Then another. "And I'm choosing you. I've been choosing you since the moment you fell off that ladder and looked at me like I was something more than just another hockey player passing through."
My breath catches. "What?"
"I love you." The words tumble out. "I've probably loved you for years. Since you showed up with terrible Christmas puns and looked at me like I was not just Ryder Blackwood, the defenseman. Just Ryder."
The tears I've been fighting spill over. "Then why did you leave?"
"Because I'm an idiot." He closes the distance between us. Cups my face in his hands. "Because I got scared. Because when Connor said those things, all I could hear was my dad's voice. All the ways he justified leaving. And I thought maybe Connor was right. Maybe I was using you. Maybe I would end up hurting you worse if I stayed."
His thumb wipes away a tear. "I spent three days trying to convince myself I was doing the right thing by staying away.That you deserved better than a guy who's going to be in Boston most of the year. Who doesn't know how to do relationships. Who's so scared of becoming his father that he almost became him anyway."
"What changed?"
"You did." His voice drops. "You came here. You demanded your worth. You were brave enough to walk away." He leans his forehead against mine. "You're the bravest person I know, Lucy. You see me. All of me. The broken parts, the scared parts, the parts I don't show anyone. And you love me anyway."
"I do love you."
"I love you too." He kisses me softly. "You're worth fighting for. You're worth everything. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it. I'm sorry I ran."
"You came back."
"I'll always come back." He pulls me closer. "I don't have all the answers. I don't know exactly how we make this work with Boston and the distance. But I know I want to try. I know you're worth fighting for."
"We'll figure it out." I wrap my arms around his neck. "Together."
"Together," he agrees. "I'm done being scared. Done running. You're mine and I'm yours, and we'll face whatever comes next as a team."
He kisses me again, deeper this time. I melt into him, into the warmth and solidity of his body, into the promise of this moment.
When we finally break apart, I'm breathless. "What about Connor?"
"I'll talk to him." Ryder's jaw sets. "He's my best friend, but you're my future. If he can't accept that, we'll deal with it. But I'm not hiding anymore. I'm not pretending this isn't real."
"He'll come around. Eventually."
"Maybe." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "But even if he doesn't, I'm not letting you go. I've spent too many years putting other people's expectations ahead of what I want. What I need. And I need you."
"I need you too."
We stand there for a moment, holding each other. The rink is quiet except for the hum of the overhead lights and our breathing.
