His intake of breath was terribly audible. "I don't want to admit that I had no plan in mind for getting us out of there, but you saved my ass, Kinsley."
"That's what I'm here for."
"I'm supposed to protect you, not the other way around."
"Sexist."
Releasing me, he stared at my face, his eyes moving back and forth as he studied my features. "I don't like the idea that I couldn't do what it took to save you."
"We have to save each other sometimes, Burke. That's what marriage is all about."
"A normal marriage would have nothing to do with shooting my enemies for me."
Groaning in frustration, I stalked out of the bathroom and over to the bed. "You're saying I should have let him shoot you? And then what? He might have killed me, he might have taken me. It's possible he wanted me for himself. Is that preferable? Next time, I'll allow the gunman to shoot you and rape me because at least then the poor little woman didn't save your ass."
"Kinsley—"
"If it's more of the same about to come out of your mouth, I don't want to hear it."
I pulled the covers back and shoved at my pillow before getting on the bed and laying on my side facing the wall. The feel of the bed dipping was all the warning I had before he draped an arm over my waist and tugged until I rolled over to meet his fervent blue gaze.
"Thank you for saving us both when I couldn't."
Something in my gut told me to memorize his face; the heavy brow, the high cheekbones, the scruff, and the tender smile on his luscious lips. "You don't have to thank me for acting on instinct."
"Maybe not, but thank you anyway. I simply need time to process it all. From the time the men came in the door to right now, a lot has happened."
I frowned. "And you think I don't need time to process it? Do I look like I'm happy about what happened?"
"Let down your defenses, Kinsley. Just a little."
I scoffed. "You first."
Tugging me closer, Burke buried his nose in my neck. "I'm glad we're both home safe."
"I am too."
"I was scared shitless tonight."
Sighing, I ran my hands through his hair. That was something he'd never admitted before. "Me too."
And when I would have hoped for him to add the words I love you, he instead hugged me tighter and closed his eyes. With one last inhale of his scent to fill my lungs, I closed my eyes and attempted to relax into sleep with his arms securely around me.
37
Burke
I woke with a start for the third time in one night. With a gasping breath, I reached across the mattress until my fingertips met the warmth of Kinsley's flesh. It should have brought me comfort to know she remained with me, but it didn't. Heaving myself out of bed, I padded into the bathroom with a deep sigh. Turning on the cold tap and cupping my hands under the flow of water, I drank until the sandpaper feeling left my throat, then I splashed my face.
I couldn't catch my breath. I couldn't sleep. Nightmares plagued me, full of darkness so void of life I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. What followed was a flash of light, temporarily blinding me. When the world came back into focus, Kinsley was running away. Her legs pumped, her hair swung, and it left me screaming her name in an endless loop of terror.
Kinsley seemed less affected than I did over the incident in the restaurant, and I wondered how she’d accomplished such a level of tranquility. Sure, I'd grown up with violence; it certainly wasn't the first time anyone aimed a gun at me or threatened my life. Though I tried to shove it down, to pretend it wasn't true, I knew the answer.
It was the first time anyone had threatened someone I loved.
I wanted to explain to Kinsley how much my heart swelled when she walked into the room. I wanted to tell her that her smile was enough to turn me on, bringing about a raging thirst that remained unquenched until I buried myself inside her. I would give up my empire to tell her how much Finn was starting to emulate her, the way our son's smile brought out dimples duplicating hers. If I could describe to her the way her laugh had the ability to either weaken me or brighten my entire day, then maybe . . .
But if I told her the way I felt, she'd have the potential to ruin me, and there would be no returning from that much heartache. Once the word was out there, I couldn't take it back. If I admitted my feelings, it would be like giving Kinsley the power to bring me to my knees without even knowing she was doing it. As inevitable as the second hand ticking incrementally around the clock face, she would leave me, and I would be powerless to stop her. For now, Kinsley was satisfied with the way things were, and that was what counted.
