Luna snorted. “I could be your lackey, for all they know.”
He grinned. “Nobody that works for me eats with me, for one, and two, no one that works for me is as beautiful as you.”
Even in the candlelight he saw the blush cover her cheeks. “What are you going to have?”
He tore his gaze from Luna to look down at his menu. He knew what he wanted, but he thought she needed a minute without him staring intently. He had to pull himself together or he would scare her away.
Once they ordered, they discussed Luna’s day, but it wasn’t until she began to describe her trip to the coffee shop that he frowned and felt his heart drop to his toes.
“Luther is kind of shy, I guess from living in the shadow of his brother, and he hates sports. So naturally, I think there must be something wrong with him.” Davis was barely paying attention as Luna giggled before she sipped from her water glass and then continued on about her new crush. “But he’s incredibly sweet. I agreed to go to dinner with him after the field trip a week from Thursday.”
“Where is the field trip?” That was the last thing he wanted to know. What he really wanted to know was where Luther lived so he could make sure he lived in the shadow of the cemetery’s tallest tree.
“The Maryland Science Center. Luther plans the field trips for our grade. He’s so passionate about science and children that it reminds me why I got into this field in the first place. Not that I’m already jaded and need a reminder, or anything.”
Luna stopped speaking and looked at Davis. He knew he should respond in some way, but what the hell was he supposed to say? I’m happy you found a guy you feel you can date, since I’m not the right one for you?
He cleared his throat. “Hopefully, it will be many years before you become jaded. You’re an excellent teacher, and you’re just starting out. You have more passion for your career than anyone I know.”
He thought he’d gone too far when she was the one to remain silent. The waiter came and refilled their glasses, and Davis noticed that Luna wasn’t drinking her wine. He couldn’t exactly blame her, but it sent a clear signal. As if he could forget the way she looked when she told him they were ruining her life by hooking up.
“Thanks, Davis. You always know how to boost my ego.”
He chuckled, but it fell flat. “That’s me. Good for an ego boost.”
Thankfully, the waiter returned with their meals and Davis turned his attention to his plate. He couldn’t watch Luna eat. Her mouth closing over the fork, her tongue peeking out to catch a crumb from the corner of her mouth. Even the memory of past shared meals was enough to have Davis shifting in his seat. He tried to clear his head. The easiest way was to think of the guy Luna was going to start dating.Luther. From what he’d seen, the guy was scrawny, with floppy hair and a face that belonged on a twelve-year-old. What he knew above all else was that he needed to let her do this. If she wanted to date a guy she worked with, or anybody else, he would let her get it out of her system.
He froze with his fork halfway to his mouth. What if their relationship progressed? What if Luna fell for Luther and let him touch her the way Davis had? What if Davis never got anywhere near her gorgeous naked body again because she was sleeping with Luther?
He thought he might throw up.
“Luna.” Davis cleared his throat and continued. “I know it’s a little early, but what are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I promised my parents I’d go home for Christmas this year, so I don’t think I can swing both holidays.” She continued to eat, oblivious to his inner suffering.
“Would you come home with me?” Even he could hear the desperation in his voice.
Luna looked up sharply. “To your parents’ house?”
“Yes, that’s what I mean.” He held his breath.
“Why would I want to torture all of us in that way?”
The air he’d been holding rushed out. “Fuck, Luna.”
She watched him scrub his hand over his face. “This is one of those times where I feel like I have to repeat myself for you to understand me.”
“No, no, by all means. I get it. You assume my parents are evil, and therefore you won’t have anything to do with them. You assume that my assurances that they don’t hate you are false, and therefore you won’t have anything to do withme.” He plowed on, despite the tears that gathered in her eyes. “I understand fine, Luna, but I don’t agree. Not at all.”
“Why do we have the same fight over and over now? It didn’t use to be this way.” She sat back in her chair and pushed her plate away.
He regretted that they were fighting in the middle of dinner. He even regretted that he’d started it after promising himself he wouldn’t push her. But he couldn’t regret making sure she knew where he stood. “Because I’ve spent four years obeying everything you’ve ever said, hiding my love for you like it’s a disease. I’ve pretended we’re nothing but friends just so I could be near you, but it’s never been what I wanted. I just want you, Luna. I thought you knew that.”
“I do know, Davis, but it can never be what you want between us. I won’t ruin your life for selfish gain. I wish you could see that it’s not because I don’t love you, but because my hands are tied.” She pushed her chair back, and he panicked.
“Don’t walk out on me, Luna.” He didn’t care that he was begging. Anything to make her listen.
“I can’t help it. We can’t do this anymore, and it’s just exactly as I feared. I don’t even have the heart to say I told you so.”
He followed her to the front of the restaurant, matching her fast pace. When she stepped out onto the busy sidewalk, he took her elbow and led her to his car. “Sorensen will take you back to the school so you can fetch your car.”
He expected her to ignore him; to shake off his hand and keep walking, so he made sure she couldn’t. He pushed her against the car and held his body tightly to hers, not speaking, not seeking anything from her but to feel her. He kept his hands on either side of her shoulders to cage her in.
“I apologize for bringing it up again. I only want you to be in my life.” The words were whispered into her skin, and then he walked away.
