“What makes you think that you can’t do more?”
“Never mind, Pa. Just my penchant for daydreamin’ gettin’ in the way of things again.”
Pa kept looking at her, his eyes uncomfortably perceptive. Kate looked away. She should be excited to fulfill her God-given role as a wife and a mother. She had always wanted to find a strong, God-fearing man to build a home with, to raise her children out in the wide open, teaching them how to ride, running barefoot with them across the hills. But lately she couldn’t help but feel like she had to let go of part of herself to fit into this mold of what it meant to be a good wife. She sighed. Another box she had to fit in.
Kate shook her head. That was not what a girl should think when she’s about to be married. She pushed her thoughts away. Andrew was a good man. And she would be a good wife for him. It was time to throw away her childish romanticism and embrace reality. She would do her duty. And she would do it with a glad heart. Even if it meant neatly packing away a part of herself that didn’t belong, stowing it away, forever collecting dust.
Chapter 28
Jacobsateasilyinthe saddle, coat unbuttoned to enjoy the balmy December sunshine. He grinned. Even the weather was on his side today. He whistled a lighthearted tune, meandering his way up Willow Creek. Today he’d see Kate again. He wanted to enjoy every minute of it.
Images of Kate had floated in his mind, tantalizing him for months. Her liquid brown eyes framed by long eyelashes, her glowing face sprinkled with freckles, her lips red and laughing. The taste of those lips! He groaned. All he wanted to do was to kiss her again and again. He’d imagined this day a thousand times on his trek across the country. He would ride up, sweep her off her feet, kiss her, marry her, and then … He shook his head, trying to dispel those heady thoughts. If he kept thinking that way, there would be no telling what her intoxicating presence might make him do. And who knows, maybe she didn’t even love him back. His heart fell thinking about it.
Seb had called him all sorts of crazy when Jacob told him his plan to find Kate again, said to find him in California after Jacob came back to his senses after losing his mind and all his wages crossing the country for some woman. Jacob frowned. But it wasn’t a fool’s errand, was it? She loved him, didn’t she? Of course she did. He remembered their kiss, the way she melted into him, the way her dark eyes had longed for him when they had said goodbye. Jacob imagined her running into his arms, declaring her love. He grinned and pushed Seb’s doubting voice aside.Jacob nudged Kip into an easy jog, spraying up dazzling crystals of newly fallen snow.
Jacob could smell the wood smoke before he could see it. Topping a small rise, he paused and looked down on a snug little cabin nestled against a hillside, a barn that had seen better days, and an empty corral. His breath quickened. There was no movement around the yard. The men were likely out checking cattle, taking advantage of this beautiful weather. He smiled. Perfect. He could catch Kate alone and not have to make small talk with her family while staring at her across a room full of people. Would she be in the house helping her mother? He looked out at the golden sunlight slanting down on the glittering snow. Jacob couldn’t imagine Kate staying cooped up inside on a day like today. He would check the barn first.
Kip’s hooves crunched softly as he pulled up at the corral. Dismounting, Jacob cocked his head. A soft voice floated on the crisp air, pouring like coffee out of the barn doors flung wide to embrace the sun. His heart beat fast and strong. Kate. He approached the open door like he was stalking a deer, not wanting to shatter the beauty of this moment. The whole world held its breath.
There she was. Her back was to him. She brushed down her mare, oblivious to his presence, humming a song he didn’t know. He just wanted to drink her in. Jacob savored the moment. The way her chestnut hair glinted red and gold in the sunlight, the way her tanned hands worked confident and slow, her soft, low voice reaching out to him and thrumming deep inside his chest. He let out a long breath. She was perfect.
Jacob leaned a muscled shoulder against the doorframe, mouth quirking in a smile. “Nice weather we’re havin’, ain’t it?”
Kate whirled around at the sound of his voice, clutching the curry comb to her chest. Her eyes were wide, and her lips parted in shock. “Jacob,” she whispered. Gosh, he loved how she said his name. “But how … why? What are you doin’ here?”
He shrugged, feigning nonchalance as his heart tried to beat out of his chest. “Oh, I was just passin’ through.” His boots seemed frozen in place. If only he could tell what she was thinking. He took off his hat, suddenly unsure. “It sure is good to see you, Kate.”
Then she smiled the most dazzling smile, crossed the space between them, and threw her arms around his neck with enough force to set him back a step. He laughed and held her tight, breathing her in. She smelled like home.
“I’ve missed you!” Kate said into his shoulder. He could hear the smile in her voice. Then she held him at arm's length, scrutinizing his face. “What on earth are you doin’ here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Oregon?”
The flecks of gold in her brown eyes made it hard to think. Jacob cleared his throat. “Well, I was. In Oregon, I mean. And then I—well, I wanted to find …” He trailed off. Gosh, she was beautiful.
Kate smirked at him, her eyes twinkling. “You are makin’ no sense whatsoever, Jacob Munroe.”
“Well, it’s mighty hard to think straight sometimes,” he said faintly.Idiot!
Kate laughed. “Knowin’ you, you’re probably hungry, or in need of some coffee, or both! Come on inside. Ma will be so happy to see you.” She started putting away the brushes.
He caught her hand as she hurried past him. “Kate, just hang on a minute. I got somethin’ I gotta say.”
She looked at him, eyes bright and quizzical. “What is it?” Her voice was soft, filled with an emotion he couldn’t place.
This was it. No turning back. Jacob took a deep breath. “Kate, I—” He swallowed and looked down. If he looked into her eyes he would lose his nerve, or just grab her and kiss her with all he was worth. He wantedher to know. Heneededher to know. Then his heart skipped a beat as he noticed the soft leather toes of the moccasins he’d given her poking out from beneath her skirts. He barreled ahead. “Kate, I’ve missed you. More than you could know. Since you left, this whole time I’ve felt like I’ve been missin’ somethin’, like part of my body was somewheres else. You … you make me want to be a better man.”
All the things he had planned to say seemed to fly out of his head. He risked a glance at her face. Her brow was furrowed, but the small, wondering smile he saw on her lips gave him a thrill of exhilaration. Hope lent him courage. “You’re the most amazin’ woman I’ve ever known. You’re kind, and smart, and strong. You care for folks even when you think no one’s noticin’. You ride like a cowboy.” She let out a soft laugh. He stared into her deep, dark eyes. “And by gosh, Kate, you’re beautiful.”
Kate’s eyes shimmered with intensity. She squeezed his hand tightly and asked a quiet question. “What are you sayin’?”
“I’m sayin’ that I love you, Kate McGrath.”
“Oh Jacob,” she whispered, and he couldn’t take it any longer. He dropped his hat in the dirt and kissed her.
She tasted like cinnamon and heather and all that was good in the world, and when she melted against him, there was only the feel of her warmth against his chest and the passionate fire raging in his blood. He wanted her closer, pulling her in, tangling a hand into her lustrous hair. Her arms slipped inside his coat, hands pressing into his back, her kiss deepening, passionate, intoxicating. He’d never felt such fire! He kissed the hammering pulse in her neck, and she reached up and dug her fingers into his hair. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. He could taste it.
“Jacob,” Kate whispered breathlessly, and he kissed her again. She ducked her head to break it. “Jacob, we can’t.”
He held her tightly, his forehead against hers, breathing heavily, the taste of her lingering, maddening. “I know. I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sorry at all. “I love you, Kate. More than anythin’.”
