“Why not? It’s a great tool to keep intimacy in long-distance relationships. Or for partners who travel a lot.”
“Is that an issue for you?”
“Maybe if we had something like that, my marriage wouldn’t have ended so spectacularly.”
“That’s not the reason your marriage ended, Alec. And it wasn’t spectacular.”
“Maybe if I paid more attention to my wife, she wouldn’t have been so hell-bent on having kids. Then my inability to do so wouldn’t have caused our world to shatter.”
“Oh,” I said, and shut up.
It got awkward, and I let it. Why would he say that? I was led to believe that he… thought of me? He said he missed me. And recommended I get that meeting, which he knew he’d attend. Why bring up the biggest failure of his life, by his own definition?
Minutes passed. The bar was busy but not packed. Denver’s sprawl glittered through the windows in every direction, and the mountains beyond were visible in the moonlight.
He chuckled and said, “Hate to leave you stranded while your Jr. beats it, but I think I’m gonna head out.”
I hadn’t felt freefall in so long. But I did.
“Don’t go, man. C’mon.” He held my gaze. I withered again, but didn’t look away. “I thought we were gonna talk.”
He sighed and settled back in his chair. “Ok.”
“I want to apologize for the way things ended. It was—”
“No, I’m sorry. It was childish of me to leave and never speak to you again. And that letter? It was so cringe-worthy it still wakes me up at night.” He laughed.
I tried to laugh it off. “It wasn’t that bad. A little lovelorn, maybe. It did rip the beating heart out of my chest.”
He laughed, too. “Well, then we did the same to each other.”
We were still smiling, but the truth of his statement hung in the air.
“I legit went through the five stages of grief after you left. I denied it until I was so pissed I almost punched a hole in my wall. And then all the rest. I even considered hiring a private eye to track you down.”
“Oh, god. No, you didn’t…”
“I did. Well, no, Ithoughtabout it, but I stopped myself. I did reach out to your ex, who told me to fuck off in nicer language.”
“Viv told me about that. But she said she told you to go scratch.” He laughed, and so did I.
“She had every right to. And she was right. You needed a fresh start. You’re doing amazing, now.”
“I feel the same way. You’ve exceeded my expectations and seem to be doing great, too.”
I chuckled. “At work, yeah. Otherwise? Less than great.”
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“No, just, there’s not much going on with me. After you left, I put my nose to the grindstone. Which was great—I mean, we just landed CompComm, but my social life is dead in the water. Don’t see friends much. I haven’t slept with anyone since you. I haven’t even gone on a date. Just can’t be bothered with it.”
Alec laughed, startling me. “I haven’t slept with anyone either. Been on dates here and there. But after I get to the guy’s place, I chicken out and leave as soon as his shirt comes off. Every time, so four.” He laughed again.
“Guys?”
“Yeah, guys. It was, uh… too good with you. And I spent too long doing things because I thought I needed to.”
“So, are you, like, dating guys now, just hooking up, or…?”
