Which was why she was now sprawled half-naked on top of a man ten years her junior.
This was not the behaviour of an intelligent queen, or even a sensible woman. Two aspects of herself she’d tried for so long to perfect.
Her heart was still beating wildly from the after-effects of her shattering climax. She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from groaning at the delicious memory. Even on her better nights with Heimdall she’d never felt such all-consuming and blinding pleasure. The desire had overwhelmed her so quickly that she’d felt as if her body would burn away to ash if she didn’t have him inside of her at that precise moment.
His words… Freyja save her, his words had lit up her heart like a beacon!
‘Before, I craved only power… But now…all I want is you…and without you, I would be powerless.’Those words had been a soothing salve on an aching wound within her she hadn’t realised was there. A desperate need to be desired and—dare she admit it—loved. He had not confessed to loving her, but it had felt close enough. Especially to a woman who’d been starved of affection for years.
Not only did he understand the true value of power—to protect and nurture those around you—but he viewed Skadi and, most importantly, Astra, as his family.
Astra! Would she be wondering where she was?
The dancing was always a joyous and chaotic time in the crafters’ hall, it was why she had dived out with Agnar when she had. It was one of the few opportunities where she might not be missed. But…she had to go back.
Agnar’s chest rose and fell beneath her head, the rain was still pouring in heavy sheets outside the doorway, which was wide open, and she winced that anyone could have seen what they were doing if they’d strayed far enough away from the hall and into the village.
The worst of the storm had passed and she sat up and fumbled with the shift and apron dress that had become a tangle of fabric around her hips. Without even the lightning to help her see it was difficult and she huffed bad temperedly when she caught herself on the pin of her turtle brooch, already regretting her hasty actions.
Would she always be a fool, desperately hoping for love?
Agnar’s rough hand gently smoothed up the shoulder of her shift as she tried to retie the neckline. The skin of his calloused hand against the softness of her skin made her body tingle with excitement and she hurried to return her clothing back to normal before she was tempted to reach for him again.
Now that she knew the incredible pleasure she could experience with Agnar, she couldn’t fathom how she was ever going to keep her hands off him.
Do I have to…keep my hands off him?
The answer was, no, they were married, but in the back of her mind she was still afraid of making the wrong choice. Her daughter’s life depended on her. She couldn’t risk her daughter’s safety on a man she barely knew…who happened to say and do the right things to make her lusty.
She’d done that once before, with disastrous consequences.
Getting to her feet, she brushed down her skirts, conscious of his seed still wet between her thighs.
She was grateful that there was only light from a half-moon to see by when Agnar lifted his hips to pull up his trousers.Odin’s teeth!She’d mounted the man before he’d even fully undressed, like some wanton beast! Hot flames danced up the sides of her face and neck and she swallowed nervously, looking around for something to cover her from the rain on the way back to the hall. She grabbed one of the fleeces from the floor and held it over her head. ‘I will go back first.’
‘No,’ rumbled Agnar’s voice from the darkness. ‘We go together.’
Skadi rolled her eyes, but she didn’t wish to argue any further. She ran out into the pouring rain, the fleece her only shield, and the heavy splashes of Agnar’s boots following close behind.
The hall doors had been closed against the storm, but the smaller door used for winter access had been left open with a water barrel. She hurried towards the amber light and chaotic revelry of the hall within, as if it would somehow shed light on her own fears and burn them away.
As they entered the hall people barely noticed their return and she was quick to throw aside the damp fleece on a nearby bench. She breathed a sigh of relief, glad that no one seemed to have noticed their arrival, and glanced towards Agnar, who looked decidedly less pleased, his long hair messy and his tunic wet from the heavy rain.
‘Why didn’t you use a fleece to cover yourself?’
Agnar tilted his head, his green eyes piercing her soul. ‘Are you ashamed of what we did?’
She almost choked on her outrage and quickly turned away from him, flexing her shoulders and neck absently, noting the sudden tension that had returned. But she was too embarrassed to answer him, because she had behaved wantonly and should be ashamed of herself. To her relief, Astra came bouncing up to her a short time later with Brenna at her side.
‘Where were you, Moma?’ Astra demanded, her braids a mess from all the dancing and half-unravelled. That child lost ribbons everywhere she went!
She laughed and plucked up the rat tail of a braid on her left side. ‘What have you been doing? Crawling through a thorn bush?’
Astra’s eyes narrowed and her lips pinched into a pout. ‘It was my favourite dance and I couldn’t find you!’
‘I only went outside for a moment.’ Skadi glanced at Brenna, who gave an awkward shrug, making it clear she’d known where Skadi had gone and with whom.
Astra was still not impressed and she scowled. ‘You were gone for the entire dance and most of the following one!’ Astra’s eyes began to water and her daughter rubbed at them with a fist obviously worn out from all the travel and excitement. ‘And… I didn’t know where you were. You need to tell me when you leave! At least Pappa always said goodbye!’
