Opening my eyes and sitting up, I rub the sleep from them. My sleep addled brain is slower to start, but as our talk from just a couple of hours ago comes back to me, I don’t know whether I want to smile or cry. I asked Remington to be my Daddy. And he hadn’t said yes.
He didn’t say no, either, but he didn’t immediately say yes.
There’s a sound of a toilet flushing moments before Remington is standing in the doorway. “You’re awake.” He smiles. It’s easy and genuine. That’s a good thing, right? I take in his soft lips, his beard that's a bit scraggly this morning and the thin pajama pants that aren't hiding much of anything. “I was just coming to wake you up for breakfast.”
Remington walks to the edge of the bed and holds his hands out. I push the blankets off my legs and swing them around, taking his hands so he can pull me to my feet. We’re standing inches apart. I risk looking up at his face.
“You have some sleepies in the corners of your eyes,” Remington says. His hand reaches up and swipes at the spots on the inside of my eyes. I close my lids and let him get the remnants of a good night sleep. When I open them again, he’s smiling and runs his hands down my arms. I can feel myself relaxing and slipping into that familiar easy feeling I’ve missed so much the last three years.
Remington steps away and turns to pull a shirt from one of my drawers. It’s a faded yellow, but letting him put it on reminds me that I’m wearing training pants. I shift my hips a little extra as we walk to the table, loving the feeling against my skin. The sensation against my sensitive areas is exhilarating and I feel myself stiffening up. I stop shifting my hips.
“What’s that look for?” Remington asks when I sit with a bit more force than needed.
“Nothing.”
“Austin.” Remington stands in the doorway of the kitchen and fixes me with a stare. That look does not help the situation rising. Literally. I sigh. Another thing Remi and Paul have in common. His stare is no-nonsense.
“I forgot I was wearing the training pants,” I answer honestly. “I like the feeling.”
Remington doesn’t say anything to me, but there’s a smirk tugging at his lips. He turns around, leaving me to my thoughts. What does that mean? Does he know that my cock is currently pressing against the fabric? I shift in the seat, the sensation turning from building pleasure to a bit uncomfortable.
“Austin?” I look up when Remi says my name. I didn’t realize I was fiddling with my hands, picking at my nail beds again. “Go potty and I’ll have breakfast ready.”
“Yes.” I rush from the chair and head to the bathroom. There’s a towel hanging on the hook where Remi took a shower last night. I should take one today. Before our date later. I relieve myself, smiling when I hear Remi remind me to wash my hands.
I wiggle my fingers at him before sitting back down. There are apple slices again. And a piece of toast cut into slices with scrambled eggs. And none of the food is touching. I smile at Remi. “Thanks.”
“Eat up and then you can play for a bit while I finish organizing the kitchen. I've moved some things around, but I'll show you where all of it is.”
“Can I take Koka and Kola in there with me?” I ask the question around a bite of food. Koka, along with the other stuffies that I've had for years, are getting more than enough love and playtime this week. I feel bad that I was too scared something would happen to them that I kept them on a shelf all this time.
“Of course you can,” Remi says. “And please chew your food before talking.”
I nod and smile. We finish breakfast in a matter of minutes, Remi dumping the rest of my apple juice from a regular cup to one of the sippy cups unpacked yesterday. I smile at it, remembering when Paul got it for me. We’d been on a trip alone and forgot to pack my sippy. It was a last minute panic buy, but I love it. It's a pretty shade of blue.
“Go ahead and I’ll be in once I clean up,” Remi suggests. I thank him quietly and move to the room. Being in hereyesterday while we were unpacking and going through everything was freeing. It was nice to go down memory lane with someone.
This morning? I sit down at the table and slowly pick through the coloring books. Most of them are half-filled already. I pick up one with exotic animals and smile at the different colors that pass page-by-page. Paul’s signature is on a couple of the pages, signaling that he had been the one to color it.
The crayons give the same memories. Broken ones where I pressed down too hard, some with the paper peeled off when they started getting too small. I look around and let out a heavy sigh.
I miss my Daddy. The lingering memories that run through my mind of things in the past make me sad. I can feel myself relax when I think about Remi now, of him in this room and playing with me. I picture him sitting with me to color or laying in the floor to play with cars.
“Hey, you forgot someone.” Remi’s voice hits my ears before I see him. I look up and his face immediately falls. The smile drops and he’s by my side, sitting down next to me, before the first tear slips down my cheek. “What’s the matter?”
“I'm just thinking about my Daddy and you,” I mumble. My chin is tucked to my chest and I can feel the drops of tears hitting my bare leg.
“Oh, sweetie. Come here.” I go easily into his lap and curl up, burying my face in his chest. His arms wrap around me and I can feel him rocking back and forth. “I know you miss him. I miss him, too. He was a great person.”
“The best,” I say. I don’t know if he can hear me. I reach a hand up and swipe at my cheek. Then I realize what I said and sit up to look at him. “Not that you’re not great, too.”
“It’s okay,” he says with a small chuckle. He flattens a hand against the side of my head and cuddles me closer. “Do you want to maybe go to the living room and play for a bit?”
“Um.” I think about it. I glance around and look at the room from the comfort of Da- Remi’s lap. Then I look back at him. “I think I’m okay. But can you stay in here with me?”
“Of course.” Remi kisses the top of my head and I finally pull out of his lap. “Can I color with you?”
“I want the animals,” I say and grab the coloring book I was flipping through already. I turn a few pages to one that hasn’t been marked yet. It’s a lion with two cubs. I remember that Remi brought my koalas in and look over at the animals sitting behind Remi. He sees my look and reaches over for them.
