“I’m glad to hear that,” Remi says. I can see him swallow roughly. “But a good day isn’t what’s keeping you awake, Austin.”
“That’s just it. It felt like I had my Daddy the whole day. You and Paul are so much alike in the way you do things when it comes to rules and listening, playing, cooking, asking if I’m okay, checking in.” Now that I’m talking, I don’t think I can stop until it’s all laid out for him.
Because I realize the truth in that moment.
I want Remington Higgins to be my new Daddy.
“But you also do things your own way. You are more firm when it comes to me disagreeing with you, like with nap time. And the way you explained how you are with past Littles…” I want that.
“Austin?” Remington reaches one hand up and takes mine in his. “What are you getting at?”
We’re both consenting adults. Yes, we have a history that includes my first Daddy. But he’s not here with us anymore, hasn’t been for three years. I still miss him like crazy and will always love him and cherish our moments. But being around Remi? It’s like I can finally breathe and relax. I no longer have to do everything on my own. We already have that foundationof trust and we can build on that. I’m sure Paul would be okay with this. I know he would be, actually. Because he trusted Remington as much as I do now.
Instead of saying all of that to him in a jumbled mess of words, I direct his hand to the waistband of my shorts and hold his hand there until he gets the hint to pull them down. I watch with rapt attention as he licks his lips, eyes flicking up to me a moment before tugging just a part of the shorts down. His breath hitches in his throat.
“I put them on when you left for the store,” I say. “I’ve been thinking about it all day, Remi. You are everything I never thought I would find again. It shouldn’t surprise me, really. You already know so much about me, but we’ve shared a lot today too. I feel safe doing this again. I want to explore more. With you.”
It’s my turn to swallow when he drops his hand and looks back up at me with so many questions behind those brown eyes. I brace myself to ask the one question that could make or break our friendship.
“Will you be my Daddy?”
“Oh, Austin.” Remi says the words out of surprise. At least I hope that’s what it is. “Are you sure that is something you want? It’s only been two days, sweetie. You haven’t had Little time in a while and I don’t want you to confuse-”
I look away, tears threatening to spill. I was sure he would say yes. But he’s listing off things, assuming that I’m just confused? I mean, yeah, I was confused this morning when I woke up cuddled on top of him and hard. And I was confused when I almost called him Daddy. But I got past that and saw, and felt, that we could be compatible.
“Austin. Look at me, please.” Remi’s voice is stern and I feel like that isn’t the first time he said it since I’ve been fighting off the tears. I blink rapidly and raise my hand to swipe at the corner of my eye. I can feel full sobs working their way up my throat from my heart. “Baby, I’m not saying no. I’m just asking if you’re sure because that’s a big step. That’s more than us just hanging out a couple days a week. Because if we do this—”
Remi’s hands land gently on my hips and he tugs me closer, spreading his legs so I can stand between them. My hands go to his shoulders to keep myself steady. “If we do this, it’s a lifestyle. I don’t think I’d be satisfied with just scenes with you. I’d want to cook for you, help you relax, play, pick out clothes. But I would also want a partner when you’re not in Little space.”
“I want all of that too,” I say honestly. “I promise, I’ve thought this out. I know that I’m asking more than just you being my Daddy. I’m asking for dating, exclusivity. I want all of it. All of you.”
“I want that too,” he says. I can see more words are about to follow. A proposition. I let my shoulders drop when he proves my thought right. “But how about we go on a date before we make anything official? We can go grab lunch tomorrow before I head home? We'll need to talk, really talk, about what we want.”
It’s reasonable. I know that asking Remi to be my Daddy means a lot and I’m glad he isn’t just jumping in and saying yes. It sucks in the moment, but I know we’ll be better for it. He is looking out for both of us to make sure that we will work as a team, a couple. Not just as Daddy and Little, which is what we’ve spent the majority of the weekend as. I smile and nod my agreement to the plan.
“But let’s talk about you giving yourself some naughty touches while I wasn’t here, shall we?”
“Um.” I can feel my embarrassment and since I’m not wearing a shirt, I know he can see my skin flush with the emotion. I try to step away, but his hands hold firmly to my hips. I fake a yawn. “I think I’m really tired. We should both get some sleep now.”
“You can go a few more minutes,” he says without hesitation. I fight the urge to roll my eyes and decide to get this conversation over with quickly.
“I woke up this morning cuddled next to you and hard so I may have gotten off in the shower too.” Remi smiles.
“Oh, I know that one. I was about to knock to let you know I was making breakfast, but I heard your moans. You weren’t even trying to hide it.”
“I actually was,” I say defensively. Which doesn’t help my case. “But back to the point. After that, we got to work and the more we talked, the more it came clear to me what I wanted. And then you were talking about your preferences with having fun sex and there were certain parts of my body that enjoyed hearing that.”
“We’ll talk about it more after our date,” Remi says. I know he was playing, wanting to lighten the mood by asking that question. “Right now, we both really need some sleep. Let’s get you tucked back in.”
“I know we just kind of poured our hearts out here,” I say. “But, I mean, you can always sleep in here tonight. Nothing has to happen, obviously. I kind of don’t want to be alone after all that.”
Remi smiles. It’s genuine and he shows his perfectly white teeth. His beard is a bit scraggly, probably from sleeping onthe couch and not having his products at the house. “No funny business tonight, okay?”
“Scouts honor,” I say with my own genuine smile. I probably should pause to think about the fact that this will be the first time I’ve shared a bed with anyone since Paul. But I let the thought trail off without a fuss, letting Remi’s hands tuck me back in under the blanket. My eyes track him as he moves to turn the light back off. A few seconds later, I feel the other side of the bed dip. “Goodnight Remi.”
I kind of can’t wait until I can call him Daddy.
WhenIwakeagain,I’m alone in bed. But I’m in the middle, a clear sign that I rolled over and cuddled with Remi while sleeping. Did that make him uncomfortable and he went to the couch? I move my hand, noting that the sheets don't feel cold. Maybe he left the bed recently, then?
