“It’s fine, Austin.” Remington unfurls one of the blankets to reveal the design throughout. He starts folding again immediately. “We both agreed to a temporary thing for you to get some much needed Little time in. Paul was your Daddy, and a damn good one too if all these boxes are filled with toys and spoils for you.”
I sigh but smile, holding on to the other blanket now. “I think he was upset with himself sometimes because he couldn’t afford a membership to the club for us to go so he overcompensated a bit. But I didn’t need that. I loved just being at home with him, eating dinner, playing together. Bath time was always my favorite. I’m sure one of these boxes hold all my bath toys. I’d like to keep those for sure.”
“Keep the rubber duckies and boats, got it.” I choose to keep the baby doll and one each of the action figure and doll before putting the others in a donate pile. “Is that something you would like to do this weekend? A bath with your toys?”
“I’ll think about it,” I say honestly. I would love a bath with bubbles and toys. The thought of Remi seeing me naked is a line I don't know if I want to cross or not. Maybe I could wear my underwear?
We go through four more boxes like that, going back and forth to ask about each other’s preferences and experiences. A lot of our preferences align and for some reason, that makes my stomach swoop a bit more with each new reveal. I slip in and out of both headspaces. I don’t fully regress, but seeing some of my old toys has me getting sidetracked easily and Remi has to remind me to focus over and over.
“Austin?” Remi gets my attention from where I’m laying on my stomach sorting through a container of toy cars. The racecar rug is laid out in the middle of the floor, courtesy of Remi. I look up with a smile, totally relaxed about going through these boxes. All the pressure and scary thoughts of going through the things alone are gone as Remi asks questions about items or simply lets me take a minute to play with something he pulls out of the box. “Do you need to go potty? We’ve been in here for a little while.”
“Oh, um, maybe.” I don’t really feel like I need to go, but after last night I appreciate that he is asking.
“How about we stop for lunch now?” I nod again at his question. “What would you like to eat?”
“Can we do soup and grilled cheese?” I smile and set the box of cars to the side.
“Of course we can. Go wash up and I’ll get it started.”
Chapter Six
Remiletsmespendso much time playing today, doing everything for me with ease. He cuts my grilled cheese into three slices during lunch after a failed attempt at dunking the whole thing into a delicious tomato soup. Then, the fight I put up for a nap time. He gave me a look. The look. The one that says ‘Daddy isn’t playing and you’ll get in trouble if you don’t listen’. I took an hour nap and woke up to actual cookies, fresh from the oven. And a slightly more organized playroom.
There still isn’t much in the way of furniture in the room. There’s a tall, white dresser where Remi folds and puts away most of my Little clothes. He shows me that the bottom drawer is where he put the diapers and training pants. My cheeks flush at that, but I can’t deny that I want to put one on. It’s been so long. There is also one of those toy racks, with the plastic buckets on each level so you can organize toys, books, whatever. And boy do I have books now.
Ismile when Remi opens that final box. It is filled to the brim. He counts them out and it comes to seventy-six. Picture books, chapter books, even a few coloring books were thrown in there. The final piece of furniture is a tiny table, where we put said coloring books and the crayons I found in the art box. There are no chairs, but it's perfect height, I can just sit on the floor and use it.
Remi leaves me to play, keeping the door open so he can see me if he leans around the kitchen door frame. He double checks that I'll be okay when he leaves to go to the store. He promises to be back in no less than thirty minutes since the store isn't far from my house.
I get myself off for a second time that day, right there in the playroom, in under twenty minutes. I hide the evidence of my orgasm by changing clothes, changing into one of the outfits we unpacked. Including a pair of training pants. I’m still wearing them now, but Remi doesn’t know that. It scares me that I kind ofwanthim to know I’m wearing them.
During dinner, I ask him if he wants to stay again, so I can maybe wake up Little one more day. I feel like I'm being selfish, but he smiles over his tacos and agrees with ease, giving me the Daddy voice when I try to insist he take the bed.
Hours after bedtime, I'm still wide awake. I don’t know what I’m going to do about my swirling thoughts. My jumbled, confusing, won’t-let-me-go-to-fucking-sleep swirling thoughts. I toss around to my other side once again and stare at the clock on the bedside table. It’s four AM and I’m wide awake.
I grunt and flop onto my back. I hear something thud on the floor and realize I probably knocked my phone off the bed. I didn’t put it on the charger tonight because I never once usedit today. It was nice to disconnect from all the outside worries for once.
“Austin?” Remi’s voice is at my door. It startles me but the door opens before I can sit up. “Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, sorry. Wow, you have good hearing.” I squint when he turns the light on. He's shirtless and his chest hair is on full display. His body is a sight for my tired eyes. I can see his eyes are hooded, too. “I think I just knocked my phone off the side of the bed. No big deal.”
“Why are you so awake?” He doesn’t step any further into the room. “Have you slept at all?”
I shrug instead of saying anything.
“Do you want to talk about it?” This time, Remi does move into the room. He sits on the corner of my bed and reaches a hand out to squeeze my foot through the blanket. “What’s keeping you awake?”
“Just a lot of thoughts swirling around.” I make a swirling motion with my finger next to my head. “I had a lot of fun today and knowing that we tackled the boxes and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be was nice.”
“The room looks great,” he says. “And I may have ordered you a few things while you took your nap earlier.”
“What? Remi, that’s too-”
“It isn’t too much for me, Austin. I want to do this for you. It’s just a chair and some new curtains, nothing fancy.” He looks at me for a long moment. I concede easily but he still watches me. “Something else is on your mind, though. We’ve talked all day today, Austin. What’s still bothering you?”
I’ll have to tell him eventually, right? We still have one more morning together before he needs to go home and get ready for work Monday. And I’m hoping that maybe we could make thisa weekend thing, if he’s willing. I take a deep breath and push the covers away. I’m wearing a pair of black shorts that only hit mid thigh on me. I watch Remi’s eyes track from my waist up to my eyes slowly. I ditched my shirt somewhere around one AM.
“Today felt good,” I start. I’m standing right in front of him. If he parted his legs anymore, I could slip in between them. “It felt natural, especially this evening when I was fully in my Little space.”
